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Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup #1600735
17/05/2017 18:12
17/05/2017 18:12
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,200
england
C
came2dance Offline OP
I AM a Coop
came2dance  Offline OP
I AM a Coop
C

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,200
england
Couldn't have gone much worse!

In my minds eye I envisaged a lovely summer day, a lazy drive home on A roads and lunch outside a pub somewhere. What we got was absolute pouring rain and 300 yards vision if you were lucky.

As it happened I hadn't looked at the route home sure I could just sat nav it and pick up the A49 somewhere around Worcester. I blame it on being too busy and rushing but in reality that's just how lazy I've become. So the first mistake was forgetting my Sat Nav and my phone! I set off in the pouring rain on the M5. Smart motorways all the way. Use the hard shoulder 50 mph. Massive queues. As I reached the turnoff for Worcester my drivers wiper went stupid. Only wiping half it's side of the windscreen. That helped me make my mind up and I turned off the M5. Soon as I did.....Bang and the wiper had gone! It was stopped against the A pillar and I turned down some country road to take a look at it. It was a bit floppy and I had no tools with me.

I carried on down the country road hoping to come across one of those country garages that can fix anything but no such luck. Driving with my head on the passenger side I eventually came across a little village with a Shell Garage. I popped in and asked one of the two Mrs Browns (as in Mrs Browns Boys) that were running the place if they had a spanner or socket I could borrow. This was met with shrugs but I could see an adjustable on the shelf behind the counter so asked if I could borrow it. I swapped the longer drivers side wiper blade with the passenger side blade hoping that I'd get better coverage and managed to tighten the wiper a little. It was giving half a movement again so I asked them how i could find the A49 heading North and they just shrugged again and said head for the motorway. Really helpful ladies thanks.

I kept going and followed the road into Worcester. My god it was busy and all the roads were Turn Left only or Turn right only and get in lane! I had no idea what road I was looking for and no idea whether the places signposted were North South East or West! I was lost. I saw a sign for the M5 and decided i had better put up with the motorway.

After a five mile or so journey North on the motorway I passed the junction I had previously turned off at for Worcester crazy I carried on using the wipers on manual and having to set them off every 10 to 20 seconds, heart in my mouth every time. Travelling at 50 with all the lorries, steering with my right hand and stretching across to look out the passenger side. Thank god for the long gearing on the coop allowing me to flit effortlessly between 30 and 60 mph. Except the wiper didn't like anything over 50. Over 50 it didn't return to it's proper parked position and the wipers were dangerously close to fouling each other anyway.

Traffic was awful. Rain was awful and eventually, luckily as we left the smart motorway section, the wipers collided! I pulled straight onto the hard shoulder and managed to untangle them. Then after 140 miles and with just 20 miles or so to go they collided again accompanied by a smashing sound and fragments of shrapnel crossing my screen. Hard shoulder again quick. The passenger wiper had gone west! I took the useless drivers side wiper off and put it on the passenger side and drove on with the drivers side wiper stalk sticking out in front like a unicorns horn so it didn't damage the windscreen.

Luckily it had almost stopped raining and I made progress at 40 mph ish which was as fast as the traffic jam known as the M6 was moving. I was approaching junctions for Warrington now and was tempted to turn off but Warrington can be a nightmare so I decided to stick to the M6. Just as i made this decision I passes a police car sat on the hard shoulder keeping an eye on the traffic jam. I thought "He's bound to spot my sticky out wiper" and sure enough he pulled out onto the motorway. Next junction was approaching and I pulled off hoping he'd stay on the motorway but he followed me off and after a minute put the blue lights on and pulled me over. Uh oh! cop

He was very nice really (and I was very polite as always when pulled over) He said have you got an issue sir? I said "yes, my wipers. They collided and it's smashed the drivers side" He said "Oh have you far to go" so I said "No St Helens" and he asked was I alright driving like that. I said yes and he said "Take care" "And switch your hazard warning lights off, that's why I followed you" shocked
My hazard lights stayed on all the way home. Jim had mentioned that the alarm wasn't working and to use the key. Somehow i must have pressed the key fob whilst messing about on the hard shoulder.

All in all an eventful day smile A six and a half hour trip home! I still enjoyed driving the coop and it was great meeting you Jim. Shame being off the road for such a minor issue as wipers but I'll have to get them sorted before I can go out playing again.


[Linked Image]www.chrisdoyle-photography.co.uk

Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: came2dance] #1600742
17/05/2017 19:27
17/05/2017 19:27
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 8,385
Lightwater, Surrey
DaveG Offline
Club Treasurer Member 311
DaveG  Offline
Club Treasurer Member 311
Je suis un Coupé

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 8,385
Lightwater, Surrey
Wow what an epic journey, not to be forgotten in a long time. Bit late now, but Rain-X would have helped smile


1996 Portofino 20vt & 2000 Pearl White Plus
1985½ & 2016 2017 Fiat 124 Spider + XF Sportbrake
Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: DaveG] #1600744
17/05/2017 19:42
17/05/2017 19:42
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,200
england
C
came2dance Offline OP
I AM a Coop
came2dance  Offline OP
I AM a Coop
C

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,200
england
I called in about three more garages in Worcester and a couple of service stations hoping like mad for Rain X but no chance. They all had like antifreeze, dog toys, mobile phone chargers and other useful stuff but no rain-x crazy First purchase tomorrow is rain-x smile


[Linked Image]www.chrisdoyle-photography.co.uk

Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: came2dance] #1600745
17/05/2017 19:43
17/05/2017 19:43
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 1,621
Leicester UK
Ballypete Offline
Club Member 1578
Ballypete  Offline
Club Member 1578
My life on the forum

Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 1,621
Leicester UK
Putting a positive spin on it at least the M6 journey wasn't boring! And she still got you home in one piece so all is good thumb


Doris the 1998 Portofino Blue 20V and Zoe the 1999 Alfa Romeo 916 Spider
Bog standard needn't be boring...
Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: Ballypete] #1600747
17/05/2017 20:31
17/05/2017 20:31
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 19,937
North wales
pinin_prestatyn Offline
Forum veteran
pinin_prestatyn  Offline
Forum veteran

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 19,937
North wales
Sounds like plenty of fun Chris! I recall the time my wipers stopped working on the M6 in the little Rallye. The heater had also packed in. I had to drive with my head out the window. I couldn't feel my nose for about 36 hours afterwards! Hopefully your next drive will be more pleasurable. Got all your bad luck out of the way early (here's hoping!).



Coopless!
Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: came2dance] #1600749
17/05/2017 21:13
17/05/2017 21:13
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,482
Aldershot
PeteP Offline
Hon Club Member 005, Membership Secretary
PeteP  Offline
Hon Club Member 005, Membership Secretary
Forum Fossil

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,482
Aldershot
Years ago I dropped my wife to be at Euston Station very early one snowy Monday morning so she could catch the first train to her work in Coventry.

About 10 minutes later, on my way back the build up of snow forced the passenger side wiper off its spindle so it got lost. The snow continued and the same thing happened to the drivers' side wiper going over the Chiswick Flyover, so that one was lost too,

That left me driving the rest of the way to work near Guildford with my head sticking out of the open side window as the snow kept falling. The Spitfire's heater wasn't that great either.

In a complete coincidence, Begbie's current house is built on the exact spot where my office was all that time ago.


16VT and X1/9 1500

We must all do our part for the planet.
I unplugged a row of electric cars that nobody was using.
Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: PeteP] #1600750
17/05/2017 21:29
17/05/2017 21:29
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,200
england
C
came2dance Offline OP
I AM a Coop
came2dance  Offline OP
I AM a Coop
C

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,200
england
That's not coincidence - that's fate! Good windscreen wiper stories though. Keep em coming laugh


[Linked Image]www.chrisdoyle-photography.co.uk

Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: came2dance] #1600758
17/05/2017 23:22
17/05/2017 23:22
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 23,296
North Wales
Theresa Offline
Former Presidentessa Club member 58
Theresa  Offline
Former Presidentessa Club member 58
Forum Fossil

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 23,296
North Wales
Lol, I was going to suggest Rain X, but I've noticed others already have laugh

At least you have another Coupe Chris cool laugh

I bet you loved being back in one, even if you couldn't see laugh

Look forward to seeing you being pulled over on Road Wars, Traffic Cops or similar in a few years time laugh

Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: came2dance] #1600775
18/05/2017 09:23
18/05/2017 09:23
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 46
Castleford, England
DDouble Offline
Discoverer
DDouble  Offline
Discoverer

Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 46
Castleford, England
Gosh not just me then, I had the same issue with the windscreen wipers crossing each other on the journey home up the M1 when I bought mine, I had no tools whatsoever, no way of tightening the bolt so I just had to use the wipers sparingly, by the end of the journey the driver side wiper barely moved a few inches each way, luckily it was in the middle of the screen right in front of my face.

Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: came2dance] #1600779
18/05/2017 10:00
18/05/2017 10:00
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 16,662
Auld Reekie
Edinburgh Offline
Club President, member225
Edinburgh  Offline
Club President, member225
Forum veteran

Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 16,662
Auld Reekie
Gosh, nightmare C2D frown Rains/pours etc rolleyes

Glad you did get home at least smile

So this not infrequent occurrence of wiper crossing.....are they just coming loose on the spindle/spline? Or is it a more sinister linkage failure?


BumbleBee carer smile
Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: came2dance] #1600781
18/05/2017 10:38
18/05/2017 10:38
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,482
Aldershot
PeteP Offline
Hon Club Member 005, Membership Secretary
PeteP  Offline
Hon Club Member 005, Membership Secretary
Forum Fossil

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,482
Aldershot
The splines fail inside the arm and inevitably at some stage the clamping pressure of the bolt is insufficient.

I had to replace the drivers side arm on my coupe 3 or 4 years ago.


16VT and X1/9 1500

We must all do our part for the planet.
I unplugged a row of electric cars that nobody was using.
Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: came2dance] #1600795
18/05/2017 13:50
18/05/2017 13:50
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 17,366
Staffordshire
Nigel Offline
Forum veteran
Nigel  Offline
Forum veteran

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 17,366
Staffordshire
Because of the design of the linkages, the driver's wiper is usually the first to fail - the linkage from the motor to the passenger wiper is a short, sturdy arm with large bushes. The link to the driver's wiper is a long spindly arm with small bushes.

the bushes, which are plastic, wear until they simply fall off the metal ball.

The other issue is that the motor isn't very strong, so when driving at "substantial" speeds, the wiper arms complete their upwards sweep about five times faster than the downward sweep

As above - Rain-X is your friend - I generally don't bother with wipers at speeds over 50mph, regardless of how heavy the rain is (actually, the heavier the better...)


[Linked Image]
Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: came2dance] #1600798
18/05/2017 14:12
18/05/2017 14:12
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 4,115
South Cheshire
L
Lucifer Offline
Forum is my job
Lucifer  Offline
Forum is my job
L

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 4,115
South Cheshire
Originally Posted By came2dance
no idea whether the places signposted were North South East or West!


Originally Posted By came2dance

The passenger wiper had gone west!


At least some part of the driver/vehicle combination knew which bloody way it was supposed to be going laugh

Great story, and congrats on the purchase! Have fun!


2016 Jaguar F-Type R AWD; 2017 BMW M4 Competition Package; 2015 Range Rover Evoque 2.2 Tech
Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: came2dance] #1600806
18/05/2017 15:45
18/05/2017 15:45
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 16,603
Corridor of Uncertainty
J
Jim_Clennell Offline
Forum veteran
Jim_Clennell  Offline
Forum veteran
J

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 16,603
Corridor of Uncertainty
The driver's side wiper arm snapped when MrsC was driving just before we SORNed the coupe. I replaced the arm and had not driven it since, so there may have been an issue that I didn't uncover.
I did fit longer blades than OEM, which might not have helped...

Very glad you got home safely, C2D!

Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: Jim_Clennell] #1600832
18/05/2017 20:03
18/05/2017 20:03
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,200
england
C
came2dance Offline OP
I AM a Coop
came2dance  Offline OP
I AM a Coop
C

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,200
england
did you tighten the nut up Jim tongue I have lol. New wipers. Little ordinary ones in case they don't last too long laugh I've put loctite on the spindle and nut and tightened it down with a socket so here's hoping. I'm all rain exed up too just in case. Before i did all that I gave Hanny a wash. Here he is all shiney click to enlarge


[Linked Image]www.chrisdoyle-photography.co.uk

Re: Well that didn't go as planned! Collecting my Coup [Re: came2dance] #1600834
18/05/2017 20:09
18/05/2017 20:09
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,783
In the coupe.
magooagain Offline
Club Member 259
magooagain  Offline
Club Member 259
Forum is my life

Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,783
In the coupe.
Glad you got home ok in the end Chris.

Enjoy the coupe mate.




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