I am amazed by the things eBay chooses to present me as things in which I may be interested.

At the moment, presumably based on my history of buying bits of fiat coupe, toys for junior, and antique cameras, I am interested in:

• fake perfume
• red lingerie
• dashcams
• motorcycle helmets

I think artificial idiocy has been invented, but surely there's enough of that already to go around?

If you look hard enough there'll be a job lot of that somewhere on ebay as well

Barnacle reveals his sexual preference in one easy to digest post.

eBay is never wrong. eBay is always right. eBay knows what you want, even if you don't.

So spray on the fake perfume, slip into some red lingerie, turn on the dashcam, put on the motorcycle helmet, put in the Mozart's Greatest Hits CD and go for a drive in your Coop that has Lamborghini doors, a big ironing board spoiler and gold rims - all thanks to eBay.