Englishman: "That your dog?" Welshman: "Aye" Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?' Welshman: "Dog don't talk.” Englishman: Hey dog, how's it going?" Dog: "Doing all right." Welshman: (look of shock) Englishman: Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman) Dog: "Yep." Englishman: How's he treating you?" Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play." Welshman: (Look of total disbelief!)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Welshman: "Horse don't talk.” Englishman: "Hey horse how's it going?" Horse: "Cool." Welshman: (Extreme look of shock!) Englishman: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Welshman) Horse: "Yep." Englishman: "How's he treating you?" Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice stable to protect me from the weather." Welshman: (Look of total amazement!)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?" Welshman: "That sheep's a liar, don't believe a word he says!!”
An old, blind sailor wandered into an all-girl bikers' bar by mistake. He found his way to a bar stool and ordered some rum .
After sitting there for awhile, he yelled to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately fell absolutely silent, and in a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him said,"Before you tell that joke, sailor boy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, sailor boy , Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The sailor thought for a second, shook his head, and muttered, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension cheque. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? Sincerely, Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read: Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office! Sincerely, Edna
So here's the thing Neil, either you meant to say what you wrote verbatim, i.e. (It) wouldn't have been a better test if the author had checked his spelling..so that the question mark might be better relaced by an exclamation mark to emphasise the statement that even with correct spellings the test would not have been any better, or Wouldn't (it) have been a better test if the author had checked his spelling? where the question mark of course belongs to the question being asked...
Last edited by DaveG; 03/01/202116:17.
1996 Portofino 20vt & 2000 Pearl White Plus 1985½ & 2016 2017 Fiat 124 Spider + XF Sportbrake