So it's going to be one of three responses...

- "Where the have you been?"
- "Who the are you?"

- "What's my third option?"

Anyway, so I got this email from Mr Clennell and thought I'd pop in to say "Hello!". Was actually thinking of this place last week - was watching The Saint film and the scene with the yellow coupe in the background made me exclaim, much to Mrs J's bemusement.

It's been about a year and a half, I reckon. Apologies if anyone has needed legal advice during that time and actually had to pay for it!

Will try to pop in on an occasional basis.

There are still some old faces hanging around!

Pardon my ignorance but having just looked this up I take it you're referring to a film made last year in which Roger Moore makes his final appearance?

Always good to have another voice of reason lurking in the shadows, but it's a quiet place here now!

Hi mrc. How you doing'?

Simon, much older film with Val Kilmer. It's just a brief appearance in the background. Would have been much better to have been centre stage in a car chase - assuming they weren't in such a hurry they couldn't wait for the door and handbrake to unfreeze.

Cheers Mark, film sourced and ordered from a solid-sounding Swiss-based ebay source

You'll be disappointed, the coupe is the best thing in it:

Oh dear!!

Hi Mark, it's very good to see you reappear. Even my post count has fallen dramatically since I got what some would call a real job (and even forced me into paying you for your expertise...!).

I hope you are enjoying life? Dare I ask for any positive updates on the house...?

Less of the "old" please!

You've got nothing to fear Annie....

I'm allowed 'old' - I just had a birthday.

How's tricks, Mark?

Welcome back

Hi Mark, nice to see you back on here

Hi guys.

Jim, after 2.5 years we are now in the house. So only a 2 year or so over-run, and an over-cost which I am reluctant to put in writing, but which will probably finish off our original builder once the legal process is over. He is also facing a corporate manslaughter prosecution. Will never do a build again - took its toll on both of us. We are massively privileged to be in a home of our own design and it suits us well. I hope circumstances bring you and Mrs C this way, there will always be a warm welcome. The next step is the outside - knocking downs some outbuildings, putting up some new ones, landscaping.

Hi Neil, warm regards to Mrs B. In a nutshell, after a very difficult couple of years, we are well.

The next big thing for me is, after 14+ years I am shortly moving on from my job. I am basically going to be wearing a few hats. Amongst them, I will be employed by a charity part time, and doing consultancy for some of the rest. In theory it should mean I am helping others but no longer making a profit for anyone but myself. Something I've intended do do for a while, and now feel the time is right.

Does seem a bit quieter on here, but it is good to be back with friends, young and, er, barnacle-aged.

As always, Mr J, you are a breath of wonderfully fresh air. Would love to meet up again.

Nice to see you back on here Mark, glad the house is finished, but it sounds like there's still more to do o sort out the garden. Corpotate manslaughter, wow, that's heavy. Are you still cycling? I am, but not as much, still planning to fix that somehow, sometime... And I've still got my old Porto 20vt.

Hi Dave, bikes have been gathering dust, very difficult to find the time to get out. But by the end of this week should have finished setting up a temporary gym room for the turbo trainer, which wil be a start. Someone keeps sneaking in and, stealthily, making my trousers tighter so unless I catch the blighter, little option but to risk chafing the old plums in a spot of lycra.

Apologies for that image. Think of your murple 20vt as mind bleach