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#1610833 - 02/11/2017 02:35 Anxiety, stress, etc.
Theresa Offline
La Presidentessa
Forum Fossil

Registered: 04/06/2006
Posts: 22692
Loc: North Wales
I never used to be one to suffer from these symptoms, but over the last couple of years, I find I'm feeling worse and this past year is becoming the final straw for me.

Work, neighbours and just general society is making me feel more and more annoyed, irritable and anxious.

I'm getting annoyed with myself at how irritable I've become and how much more I'm hating people.
I'm getting massive road rage, to the point I expect I'm going to have an accident soon or someone is going to get out of their car and batter me, but it's all down to what people are doing wrong as they think of themselves and not give a shit about anyone else.

I have neighbours visitors parking over my drive as they can't be bothered to park a few feet away and walk.
I have problems at one of my jobs with someone reporting me to senior managers about stuff I've done, yet they do it themselves, etc, etc.

Peoples actions are generally getting on top of me and it's seriously doing my head in.
I know it's life, but I'm sick of peoples inconsiderations having an effect on my life and the feeling of not being able to do anything about it.

I don't want to and can't see a doctor due to theirs and my lack of availablity.
As all my neighbours seem to smoke weed and not give a shit about their actions, I've considered it myself, but I don't want to get done for drug driving, nor do I want to start smoking again frown
I've even looked to see if I can buy cannabis resin eliquid for my ecig shocked

I've seen that you can buy things like Kalms to help, but do they help?
Does anyone have any recommendations for anything I can buy over the counter that might help calm me down a bit?
I have no problems sleeping (unless some inconsiderate neighbour/cloud9 decides to sound their horn several times at 7am), I just need something to 'take the edge' of how I've been feeling lately frown

Only the thought of prison and having some self control is stopping me from being the next lunatic killer you see in the headlines shocked grr

Oh and there we go, just as I think this is the most peaceful time of the day/night, some cloud9 decides to let a firework off ffs grr

Is it me or do I really need to start accepting these pricks are part of my life and deal with it?

The sooner I win the lottery and get my own island away from people, the better grr

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#1610837 - 02/11/2017 07:08 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
H_R Offline
Club member 1114
My life on the forum

Registered: 30/07/2012
Posts: 1593
Loc: Dark side of the Moon
I get where you are coming from regarding people in general, society no longer seems to give a shit anymore regarding other people and now everything is all about "me" all the time

Sadly the best way i found to deal with it in my circumstance was to move away and start again, not necessarily an easy thing to do financially but it helps the mind, the biggest problem is you then end up with someone else that irritates you laugh

The work thing i found eventually goes away as the people like this that i have seen have no real backbone, justification or ability and use attack to deflect attention!
Just keep being yourself Theresa

Sorry i dont have any recommendations about e-cigs but the self mixed smelly ones my apprentice uses that i can feel setteling on my lips irritate me rage hehe

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#1610842 - 02/11/2017 08:52 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
glenn1960 Offline
My job on the forum

Registered: 27/03/2011
Posts: 1461
Loc: uttoxeter
If you don't have a partner, get one ! Having someone with you helps a lot . Move house if possible, a new start works well. Failing that ,get some sertraline off the doc, even a small dose helps with no side effects ! As I had to retire early two hears ago with stress , I know how you feel. I used to not give a toss about anything , so getting stressed was a worrying time for me. I rarely went out of the house, even the doctors visits were stressful bigtime, and the surgery was only 20 yards from my house !!! Since moving up to Staffs to live with the Mrs, things have improved greatly. Quiet village, no local cloud9 about, just peaceful. Wow, what a difference and the pills work too lol.Take some action now, as your stress levels seem to be getting worse, so get sorted. You can do it !
_________________________
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#1610849 - 02/11/2017 11:59 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: glenn1960]
bezzer Offline
Forum is my life

Registered: 16/12/2005
Posts: 5862
Loc: 2011 and 2015 FCCUK F1 Champ.
Sorry to hear you're feeling the way you are T frown

I know you said you can't/don't want to see a Dr but I really think you should. If they can't offer you anything to help with the way you are, they'll at least help you get some kind of counseling. Talking about how you feel will help no end, believe me, I've been there.

As for herbal remedies, Kalms work to a certain degree. I used to take them when I was struggling with sleep due to my 'issues' Of course it may have been a placebo effect but I slept considerably better when I took them.

But I urge you to go and talk to someone.....
_________________________

......My Boy...... (PB #7)

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#1610850 - 02/11/2017 12:35 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: bezzer]
came2dance Offline
I AM a Coop

Registered: 18/12/2005
Posts: 13193
Loc: england
I'd second Bezzers post T (just to make him feel good like) No really though I would. The fact that you recongnice the problem is a good start and you've made a first move by posting on here. Seeing the doctor would be a great follow up. i think we are all aware of the what people are nowadays and the couldn't give a fccuck culture but you have to let it go (and that's far easier for someone to say than it is for you to do it) Good luck T you know we all support you smile
_________________________
www.chrisdoyle-photography.co.uk


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#1610856 - 02/11/2017 13:15 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
GrahamL Offline
I need some sleep

Registered: 17/12/2005
Posts: 3444
Loc: Pothole City
Originally Posted By Theresa
I've seen that you can buy things like Kalms to help, but do they help?
Does anyone have any recommendations for anything I can buy over the counter that might help calm me down a bit?


I've found Kalms can help with migraines if you take them for a few days, but for anxiety/mild depression St. John's Wort is often effective and is available without prescription. It can take weeks or even months to have an effect though.

Check out:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/st-johns-wort/

As for the state of humanity in general, I find listening to cheery music like this helps a lot...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PllLGOypyx8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7h5In2yvPkA

(read the lyrics)

laugh

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#1610882 - 02/11/2017 19:43 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
Jim_Clennell Offline
Club member 105
Forum veteran

Registered: 16/12/2005
Posts: 16212
Loc: Corridor of Uncertainty
Sorry to hear that you're struggling, Theresa. I think when we're under pressure (relentless pressure) to make enough to survive and it's bloody hard, then the selfish behaviour of others is magnified hugely.

I can see how you would feel the way you do, though I'm fortunate to have MrsC, who endlessly talks me down from my high horse of righteous rage!

I can't vouch for any medecines/drugs (other than a few pints of red wine), but one thing that definitely helps me is to laugh. It may sound daft (and entirely unlikely when you're wound up), but if you can find some comedy that floats your boat anywhere on the millions of telly, watch an hour and let yourself go. It may not work, but all you've lost if it doesn't is an hour watching comedy.

Also, look at the response your post has got already. You have a lot of folks who care about your wellbeing!
_________________________

Jaaaag!

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#1610910 - 03/11/2017 01:29 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Jim_Clennell]
Theresa Offline
La Presidentessa
Forum Fossil

Registered: 04/06/2006
Posts: 22692
Loc: North Wales
Thanks for the advice everyone smile

I bought some Kalms earlier and will give them some time to work and if they don't, I think I will need to see a doctor.

I knew you would reply H_R laugh You know how I feel regarding neighbours, as I've mentioned them before and I know how you feel.

Unfortunately, due to my previous actions of getting into debt in order to buy myself privacy and security from neighbours, etc., I'm not in a position to move house frown I'm going to try next year, but if my house isn't valued at what I need it to be, then I'm stuck here frown

As for a partner glenn, well, I think I'd need to get rid of the Coupe - I haven't had anyone since about a year before buying a Coupe shocked laugh I think I'd drive any new partner away with my misery and anger anyway, so I'll stick with keeping a Coupe laugh

Graham, thanks for the link about St Johns Wort - I did look into getting some, but the Kalms seemed to look better, so opted for those, although I'll see how it goes.
Thanks for the links laugh Suits my mood perfectly laugh

I am trying to change my main job, so if I do, I think that will help a lot regarding work stress and general life stress.

I've gone off the red wine a bit at the moment, but will stick with my beers to help laugh

The Kalms also state ' The effects of this medicine may be increased by alcohol', so here's hoping laugh

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#1610911 - 03/11/2017 02:21 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
coupedummy Offline
Club member 1341
Je suis un Coupé

Registered: 25/09/2006
Posts: 8934
Loc: west bromwich
Originally Posted By Theresa

I'm getting annoyed with myself at how irritable I've become and how much more I'm hating people.


Peoples actions are generally getting on top of me and it's seriously doing my head in.
I know it's life, but I'm sick of peoples inconsiderations having an effect on my life and the feeling of not being able to do anything about it.



Exactly how i feel Theresa so not alone. I can feel myself getting crankier and increasingly frustrated with things i could shake off previously. Work is having a big affect. Moving helped for a while but work for me hopefully will sort it.

Hopefully you get sorted and feel some relief.
_________________________

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#1610931 - 03/11/2017 12:05 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: coupedummy]
came2dance Offline
I AM a Coop

Registered: 18/12/2005
Posts: 13193
Loc: england
Also T PETS. You used to have greyhounds do you still have those? And Rats! crazy Maybe something more cuddly than rats may be therapeutic. We have a minature labradoodle and she's so happy, soft and cuddling that she cheers everyone up! smile
_________________________
www.chrisdoyle-photography.co.uk


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#1610935 - 03/11/2017 13:19 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
proccy Offline
I AM a Coop

Registered: 31/12/2005
Posts: 12088
Loc: Coupé-less
Originally Posted By Theresa
I've gone off the red wine a bit


Hmmm I didn't realise how big an issue this was for you T, this explains a lot laugh

I can't really add anything to what the others have said apart from there are lots of people on here and in real life who think a lot of you, and that support should help - but get to the Doctor's asap.

Being surrounded by the Welsh is enough to depress anyone, so move - you CAN afford to if you want it enough, just make sure it's not to an equally bad area (or worse - there are some)

Look after yourself first, everyone else second, you might be a Dugong but you're our Dugong and we want you well and taking the piss again laugh
_________________________
Under-steer is when you hit the wall with the front of the car, over-steer is when you hit the wall with the rear of the car. Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall and torque is how far you take the wall with you

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#1610941 - 03/11/2017 14:27 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
magooagain Online   happy
Club member 259
Forum is my life

Registered: 22/10/2008
Posts: 6402
Loc: ked
I can only echo what the others have allready wrote T. Please try to get to the docs. There is a way through it.

I've Allways had you down as a tough but kind old bird and you know it makes sense to get help.

I wish I could take all your problems away for you Theresa.
Hang on in there,but please do something about it.

I know you have all our support.
_________________________

Waiting for forum photo hosting!

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#1610947 - 03/11/2017 15:42 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
ali_hire Offline
Forum is my life

Registered: 03/01/2006
Posts: 5277
Loc: Portsmouth
I’m so sorry to hear this and I echo the comments recommending that you seek proper, professional help. I know you say you don’t have the time and it’s impossible to get an appointment, but your GP is not the only way to get help for mental illness (which I’m not suggesting you necessarily have, but I worry that you may end up getting there).

Thankfully, it’s not something I’ve had to deal with but I know that there are lots of free and confidential helplines to get you started and at least talking to people about your issues.

Whilst I can’t give you any proper advice on how to combat your problems, cannabis is unfortunately something I can offer advice on.

In my late teens and early twenties I was a heavy user. I would smoke every day and at the weekends I would kick it up a notch and get very stoned.

At first, it was fun. It’s a cliché but it would relax me and make me find humour in most things. But I didn’t realise that it was actually sapping my motivation to do anything other than my normal day to day routine; get up (late), go to work (late), sit at my desk, do the bare minimum to not get fired, spend my money on junk food, wait for 5:30pm and the sweet release of the first joint of the day (I knew people who would get high as soon as they woke up, I could never do it).

The evenings would be spent either sat in front of the telly/computer game (with breaks to nip out for a joint) or meeting up with friends with a similar lack of interests.

I didn’t really realise it at the time, but cannabis affected my mental health the more I used it. I was a miserable person and felt like the world owed me a living. I would get road rage even though I was a young and inexperienced driver and almost certainly in the wrong in most situations. I didn’t see the correlation between doing nothing and not being a high achiever. I got massive paranoia about irrelevant things and I was angry all the time.

And the only reason I stopped smoking it was because I blacked out once and had no recollection of it (turns out I have low blood pressure and cannabis lowers it further) and it scared the shit out of me. Glad to say that’s all behind me and I haven’t smoked it or wanted to in over a decade.

Everyone reacts differently to different things but I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.

I hope you find a way to turn things around, Theresa.
_________________________
Click here to donate to Ickle Pickles

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#1610949 - 03/11/2017 16:12 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: ali_hire]
proccy Offline
I AM a Coop

Registered: 31/12/2005
Posts: 12088
Loc: Coupé-less
You must have at least a walk-in centre T?
_________________________
Under-steer is when you hit the wall with the front of the car, over-steer is when you hit the wall with the rear of the car. Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall and torque is how far you take the wall with you

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#1610952 - 03/11/2017 16:55 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
Edinburgh Offline
Club member 225
Je suis un Coupé

Registered: 04/03/2007
Posts: 9921
Loc: Auld Reekie
Hi T, really sorry to see you down in the dumps frown

I would hope that most doctors would be able to talk over this with you and not necessarily reach for the nearest antidepressant but remember in the unfortunate event that you and they don't "click" you have the right to see a different one - or even to pool their suggestions and work out a suggestion from there.

Didn't you have dogs/a dog? Perhaps a cat...less walking and need for attention, but both are well-known as stress relievers.

My eldest son has been in a job which ostensibly he's not bad at but gave him so much stress this last year he was forced to take a few months' sick leave as his digestion took complete umbrage, virtually incapacitating him. He has recently gone back but has been hunting for fresh employment as you have. Good luck with that - it might go a long way to helping.

The St John's Wort option (as long as you're careful what you mix it with - look this up) sounds promising and I know some will disagree but homeopathic remedies, even if they have been "scientifically proven" to be ineffective, might be worth a go - even if it's a placebo.....there is no underestimating what part power of the mind has to play in treating a condition.

As said above you've got friends and support on here who rally around so hope things improve soon smile
_________________________


So there, Photobucket...

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#1610978 - 04/11/2017 00:50 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Edinburgh]
Theresa Offline
La Presidentessa
Forum Fossil

Registered: 04/06/2006
Posts: 22692
Loc: North Wales
All my rescue Greyhounds have now died over the years through one thing or another frown
I do have a Lurcher though and have had my daughters Labrador at my house for the past couple of years.
Both are nutters though and think they sometimes cause me extra stress laugh
I wouldn't be without them though.
I also have a pet rat and two fish tanks laugh
I don't mind other peoples cats, but they aren't a pet for me and my Lurcher would probably kill it anyway frown

I'm also a member at Chester Zoo, so often go there to get away from the scum that live around here and to try and relax a bit.

Nurses are easier to get appointments with at my doctors, although I'm not sure if would be easier to see a doctor if I went through occupational health at work.

I'm going to see how these Kalms go, as I know they need time to work.

I appreciate everyones support though, thanks. Even you proccy laugh

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#1610986 - 04/11/2017 09:06 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
jimboy Offline
Club member 857
Forum is my job

Registered: 18/03/2008
Posts: 4196
Loc: highlands
I'm not going to prattle on Theresa blabla , but chin up & I hope things will improve.
_________________________
I'm an old git & happy with it,most of the time

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#1611012 - 04/11/2017 18:00 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
Ballypete Offline
Club Board member
Enjoying the ride

Registered: 02/02/2017
Posts: 421
Loc: Leics UK
Sorry to hear you are not on top form Theresa. I don't really know you or you life experiences but I recognise some of these symptoms myself, brought on by years of locking away some horrendous stuff I had dealt with both in the RAF and as a Cop. For me a visit to the docs and some event based counselling worked wonders- they can diagnose and offer some good alternatives that don't include relying on alcohol or drugs.
_________________________
Doris the 1998 Portofino Blue 20V
Bog standard needn't be boring...

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#1611458 - 12/11/2017 15:20 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
HiraethHuw Offline
Club member 1301
Enjoying the ride

Registered: 17/10/2012
Posts: 805
Loc: Hereford
I have to agree with you Theresa in that there does seem to be a general decrease in the behavior of society.
I walk into Hereford town center at certain times of the day and find noisy, disruptive youths hanging around, booting footballs around without any thought of folks passing by.

Then, a bit further on, three middle aged blokes are cycling along the path , narrowly missing me. They are swearing their heads off and at least on has a joint on the go. Some days it's good to get in my house and shut the door to the world.
But today is Remembrance Sunday. I took my kids down to the city center service to remember the dead and injured service men and women, and there are hundreds of like minded folk.
Good, honest, considerate folk who all hold similar values and standards.
I was proud to be there with my family.
I think it's the minority of folks that cause the bad feeling about society because we notice them.
The majority of decent folk we don't notice because we get on with our business without disrupting others.
Be proud of your own conduct and standards.

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#1611464 - 12/11/2017 17:01 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Ballypete]
G_Man Offline
Club member 1656
Enjoying the ride

Registered: 16/03/2006
Posts: 707
Loc: Warrington
Originally Posted By Ballypete
For me a visit to the docs and some event based counselling worked wonders- they can diagnose and offer some good alternatives that don't include relying on alcohol or drugs.


Likewise I'm sorry to hear about your troubles T. I echo BP's comments above and you really do need to take the time to go to the GP if your health is important enough to you. I and my wife are living through some real mental health issues with my eldest daughter for the past 3 years (although the warning signs were there long ago but we were unaware cry ) and through the stress and anxiety I've now got colitis that will be with me for the rest of my life. I chose to ignore the symptoms 'cos I was scared what I had and have ended up paying the price. Most of the over counter jobs are unproven however my wife reckons Nytol helps her sleep. You'll realise that alcohol and drugs are not an answer but exercise / gym / yoga and some self help groups can assist together with assistance from the GP if necessary.

I know life can sometimes suck and people can be really inconsiderate - check this out:

http://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/ambulance-crew-left-note-parking-761440

but you can retake control by taking some positive steps and by doing so you can start feeling on top again. All the best and I know it's difficult.. frown


Edited by G_Man (12/11/2017 17:01)

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#1611475 - 13/11/2017 02:13 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: G_Man]
Theresa Offline
La Presidentessa
Forum Fossil

Registered: 04/06/2006
Posts: 22692
Loc: North Wales
I read about that parking note to the ambulance crew Alan and was disgusted by it, as I can't believe someone would leave a note like that grr I do get annoyed with people parking over my driveway, but that's because people are lazy bastards, but to leave a note like that for an emergency service is just one of the lowest of the low frown

The Kalms have had 11 days to kick in now and I don't feel anything has changed frown
My doctors is one of those 'ring at 8.30am' places and when you do, the line is engaged and when you finally get through, all available spaces have gone grr

Other stuff has gone on at work now too and I feel I'm on the edge of doing something I regret. I could lose my job, but trying to hang on to it is what I seem to be fighting for all the time at the moment as is what's stopping me from doing whatever I might regret.

I'm on annual leave for a few days after Monday night, so a break away from it all will be good.

I'm going to try and get in touch with ACAS and the doctors if I get chance and also see about referring myself to occupational health too.

I'm just a cleaner ffs (although a well paid one due to working at night) Who would have thought that most of this would be caused by other cleaners? Especially by those that do the same stuff as me, yet report me to managers for doing the same things.

I have been going to the gym for an hour a week and aqua fit classes for an hour a week too, when I have time. I prefer the aqua fit classes as I love being in the water cool

Nothing is making me feel any better though frown

Yet, although considering how I feel, I'm having no problems sleeping. Probably down to being knackered when I do go to bed as I usually only have around 6 hours sleep a night.
When I go to bed, I'm asleep within around 5 minutes, so don't have time to dwell on things lol laugh

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#1611484 - 13/11/2017 09:29 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
Nigel Offline
Club member 123
Forum veteran

Registered: 16/12/2005
Posts: 16843
Loc: Staffordshire
Hi T - lots of good advice and support above - just thought I'd add my own story

I'd like to think of myself as pretty stable - quite assertive, never had any real problems. I get grumpy every now and then (usually coincides with a Monday morning, funnily enough), but generally, I don't let stuff get to me. Also, being a bloke and being from Yorkshire, I tended not to understand how people could find themselves in a position of feeling depressed.

About six years ago, I got what I thought was a dream job. Working from home for three weeks a month and from London one week a month. This also coincided with going onto some light medication for acid reflux - nothing serious.

However, the job turned into a nightmare. The promised income didn't materialise. One of my co-workers turned out to be a bunny-boiler intent on making my life hell. My time in London was awful - possibly the loneliest place on earth. Within three months, I realised I was suffering from depression, which was partly brought on by a side-effect of the medication.

Towards the end, I was going to London armed with a signed resignation letter for each day I was to be there - I was essentially surviving day to day. Eventually, I swallowed my pride and went back to my old job (which just happened to be with people I really liked)

In my experience, unhappiness isn't caused by a single aspect of your life - its usually a culmination of several things. If you don't address the issue, sooner or later, one more thing will be added to the list and you'll snap.

If you change just one thing, even something quite small, it can make a huge difference to how you feel. Almost everything can be changed, but some of them will have consequences and some can't be achieved overnight. So, you should focus on what you can do right now.

By the way - please don't say you're "just" a cleaner. OK, it may not be a particularly glamorous job, but in most places, it is important and in some places, its absolutely vital.

So - some suggestions (from experience only, I'm no doctor or counsellor...):-

Look for another job - they are out there, even for "just" cleaners wink

Move house - I know what its like being in negative equity, so how about renting the house out (with the mortgage company's permission) and using the rent to fund the rental on somewhere new, with nicer neighbours.

Get help - a lot of your problem seems to stem from an intolerance of things that previously didn't wind you up. If you can get back to not being bothered too much about the idiots society seems to spawn, you'll be a long way to feeling better.

DON'T "deal with it" by having a few beers or starting smoking again - you're not actually making any difference, just dulling the irritation a bit (and spending loads of cash, which just creates another problem)

Finally - keep talking on this forum - there are many, many people who are full of admiration for your perseverance - we would all love to help if we can, even if its just letting you have a bit of a rant at inconsiderate f#*wits that park across your drive....
_________________________


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#1611487 - 13/11/2017 11:50 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Nigel]
Edinburgh Offline
Club member 225
Je suis un Coupé

Registered: 04/03/2007
Posts: 9921
Loc: Auld Reekie
^^ excellent post, especially agree with the "just a cleaner" part. Nothing wrong at all in doing your job well and to your satisfaction whatever it is - it's all part of a balance in society. The attitude of your co-workers says more about them and their insecurities/jealousy/hard time at home.

An alternative employment, if it's possible to rummage around, even if you have to travel a little further, should alleviate some of the present symptoms. Even the act of looking will help to take your mind off it. I realise you may have been doing this already but new opportunities do arise and someone you speak to in your quest may just "know" someone else who would take you on.

The law where you are must be different to up here, as even house owners are not allowed to park in front of their driveway - something to do with emergency service access.
_________________________


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#1611489 - 13/11/2017 12:35 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
magooagain Online   happy
Club member 259
Forum is my life

Registered: 22/10/2008
Posts: 6402
Loc: ked
More sleep will serve you well also T.
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#1611491 - 13/11/2017 13:23 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
GrahamL Offline
I need some sleep

Registered: 17/12/2005
Posts: 3444
Loc: Pothole City
Originally Posted By Theresa
The Kalms have had 11 days to kick in now and I don't feel anything has changed frown


Try the St. John's Wort but give it at least 2-3 weeks. You can get it in Tesco. Or I have an unopened pack here I could send you but it's so old it's probably lost it's effectiveness, not sure how well it ages.

Quote:

My doctors is one of those 'ring at 8.30am' places and when you do, the line is engaged and when you finally get through, all available spaces have gone grr


It's the same here now, basically the solution to long waiting lists is just not having a waiting list at all. I bet someone got a bonus for that idea. rolleyes

I was sent for physiotherapy by my doctor a few years back and it was the same system... turn up at the hospital at one of 2 times per week and you may or may not be seen depending on demand that day. After wasting my time at the first attempt and having them refuse to give me an appointment for a later week I told them exactly what I thought of their "system" and didn't go back. But at least I didn't make the numbers look bad by being added to a waiting list, so I guess the system is working as intended.

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#1611499 - 13/11/2017 19:01 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
G_Man Offline
Club member 1656
Enjoying the ride

Registered: 16/03/2006
Posts: 707
Loc: Warrington
Originally Posted By Theresa


I'm going to try and get in touch with ACAS and the doctors if I get chance and also see about referring myself to occupational health too.


Are you public or private sector and a member of a union in case your situation gets a bit rocky? I'm in the Civil Service and I'm fortunate (and probably the same with most public sector departments) that the Occ Health support is quite good so making contact with your OH is a good start. I was having some real issues with my job and my management referred me to OH where it was established that I was suffering from moderate anxiety and depression shocked. 3 months later and I'm due to start a new role in another department and can't believe my luck! I'm impressed with your exercise as I'm struggling to get to the gym for 1 hr per week and although you may not feel any better mentally at the moment at least your physical well being is being addressed and it's proven that the two go hand in hand.

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#1611509 - 13/11/2017 23:37 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
Gripped Offline
Club member 1144
I need some sleep

Registered: 20/12/2005
Posts: 3016
Loc: S. Wales. Way beyond my means
+1 for exercise. I always say that even if you don't feel much better after exercise, you are certainly no worse off, and you'll have burned off some excess adrenaline.

I've had anxiety and depression for a few years now and used work Occ Health and the NHS. Pills (prescribed) have helped me, but I also took the decision to do a two pronged attack and went on some CBT and Mindfulness courses. The CBT in particular was good, helping to retrain your mind away from negative thoughts, and strategies for dealing with "life."

Try and get yourself a GP appointment and also see what local help is available for things like CBT and counselling.

You've taken the first step by talking to us about it, so you're already on the way !

Good luck and keep checking in to tell us how it goes.

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Edited by Gripped (13/11/2017 23:38)
Edit Reason: If you want to of course !
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#1611510 - 14/11/2017 00:13 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
JKD Offline
Forum is my job

Registered: 20/09/2008
Posts: 4384
Loc:
Basically, life is like a box of chocolates. A box of Quality Street to be precise. And most people want all the Purple Ones.

I really wish I was a calm, cool and collected person so I could give solid advice. I feel a bit hypocritical but I will add the following thoughts and ask others for their opinions.

I first read about the 90/10 principle over 10 years ago. As you've all probably guessed from some of my stress and depression filled posts, I didn't follow it.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/9010-principle-stephen-covey-rajesh

But does anyone here follow it?

Is it applicable to absolutely every single problem in life or just the ones which ultimately don't have a long term effect (unless you allow them to upset you so much that you then go ahead and end up f****** things up all by yourself)?

I mean, if one night you're sat on your sofa downloading a movie on Sky Cinema that you've been looking forward to for quite some time and at 99% it stops downloading for no reason and then deletes itself, instead of getting annoyed, the above principle can be applied. If your Sky box then switches off and refuses to turn back on, instead of getting annoyed, the above principle can be applied. But then say all of a sudden, some thief who is stealing your Coop (which you've had completely resprayed a few days before) crashes it through your living room wall and then calmly says, ''Hmm, I can see now why the Alfa GTV is said to have better handling.'' Well, then it might be a bit more difficult to apply the above principle.

But then again I suppose if a person was able to truly apply the principle to every problem (instead of just letting things slide whilst deep down getting upset and just bottling up their frustrations while putting on a big smile for the world) no matter how trivial (someone jumping in front of them in the queue at the supermarket) or serious (they get diagnosed with a major illness), and to not let things like ego (which can inflate the perceived significance of a problem) get in the way (''X person made me look silly in front of Y person, how dare they!'') then nothing would ever be able to stress them out in life?

However, I think it's important to not just become a doormat when it comes to people causing you actually serious life affecting issues and to stand up for yourself when required, at the right time, in an appropriate manner. After all, you don't want to get into a physical fight and end up getting hurt over something like a parking space whilst shopping. Essentially, you don't want everyone to just start trampling over you and cause you big problems just because you have a reputation of not letting anything bother you in life.

Ultimately, I suppose the goal is to not end up wasting all your energy stressing over loads of little things. But to rather save all your energy so that when the time comes you can deal with all the important issues with calmness, clarity and minimal stress.

Please Theresa don't end up hurting yourself or someone else or doing something that gets you in any kind of trouble. For example, if you were to pull someone out of their car and start fighting them, while it would be quite cool to see your Coop appear on the news cool laugh , it would be truly upsetting to see our Theresa like that. frown I don't need to say this, you know we're all here for you Theresa! smile thumb



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#1611539 - 14/11/2017 17:45 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: JKD]
G_Man Offline
Club member 1656
Enjoying the ride

Registered: 16/03/2006
Posts: 707
Loc: Warrington
Originally Posted By JKD
But then say all of a sudden, some thief who is stealing your Coop (which you've had completely resprayed a few days before) crashes it through your living room wall and then calmly says, ''Hmm, I can see now why the Alfa GTV is said to have better handling.'' Well, then it might be a bit more difficult to apply the above principle.


laugh laugh laugh

But seriously some real though provoking posts on this thread and sad in a way that many face some mental strain in some way or another frown. As they say T a problem shared I hope goes towards a problem halved.. thumb

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#1611761 - 17/11/2017 23:18 Re: Anxiety, stress, etc. [Re: Theresa]
Jef_uk Offline
I need some sleep

Registered: 26/05/2008
Posts: 2740
Loc: watching the watchers
Hey T I cannot promise an island but I'll find you a quiet spot with enough space for the family to stay for when you want them to if I win.


I get anxious about me niece, who I've re trained to say I love mum and where is jack-jack smile.


As to drugs as an escape please try an alternative. I know your not serious, and I'm a little liberally inclined regarding some of them but still, I'm not sure weed is really worse than alcohol but it makes one content with a situation even watching crap TV is bearable! wink

So I'm going to ask you to find some place high and quiet to sit.
After a few visits take the grand-kids.
Look down on all that shit. look at them ( grand-kids) and give them a smile.

Well done T your some ones grand-mamma


I bet you are not the only person on your street who gets pissed off at the detritus.

...


I ended up moving back in with my mum for space ( wtf?? ) and some quiet( wtf??^2 ) , I could not handle living in town. I remember talking about people who slam the door next door with you. We were both venting, I moved to suburbia and lived in a semi where I could here the neighbors talking in bed shocked ( wtf??^3 )



+1 Nigel I've almost died through a lack of basic Hygiene and I'm not joking I've not grown since I was 16 as a result of a parasite.
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cry Jack


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