People that stand in doorways or top of stairs or any access point, winds me up chronically

Also People that refuse to take backpack off on packet train then decide to spin around in circles because of the pretty colours on the outside of the train they get every day

GRRRRR!!!

ha ha great post. My wife does this all t he time. Drives me mad

+1, not that I am sexist, but my observation is that they tend to be female. I have tried to rationalise this to the extent that they are searching for symmetry and thus unwittingly hog the centre of the gangway, but seem strangely unaware of other people's need for access.

People - always women - who instantly respond to any questions you ask about the job in hand (whatever it might be) by saying "OK, so if you don't want to do it, fine." "I'll get someone in."

Drives me nuts.

Conversational groups in supermarkets - right in the middle of the aisle.

Women who swing their trolley across the entire aisle whilst inspecting the produce. You have to move it to get past.

Can we conclude the thing to hate is people?

No I don't think so, it's definitely swinging towards the fair sex at the moment

Puddles you don't expect when you get out of the car!
One foot out, splosh, one wet foot (even with puddle lights!)

Frozen skylights.

People that use the letters u y nn yy instead of typing out a coherent sentence.

Soggy grass, it looks fine till you tread on it, sinking and getting a wet foot in the process.

The length of time it takes for a cold strip light to produce more than 1 candles worth of light

Dimmer switch buzzing noise

Very low or very high buzzing noises that no one bar me and cats appear to hear

That's it for tonight's list

Dimmer switch buzzing noise...

don't use energy saving bulbs with them. not supposed to.

Using the word Halfrauds instead of halfords. If you think its fraudulent don't bloody go there! Easy!

2 more..

women people that stop at the top or bottom of an escalator, why can't you just carry on!

1 more..

women people that stop at the ticket barrier to find the bleeding ticket!! Grrrrr

Vented!

Manufacturers and suppliers that do not check thier supplies before sending them out

I spent 2 hours getting my wheels off and new 3G 20 grooved discs ready to go on when I found that only 3 of the 4 faces had been grooved!!

I now have to wait until new year before I can get a new set!!!

Brings to mind my constant irritant of old - women fishing about in their purses for change when getting on a bus. They had a good half hour to do that while waiting for it!

This is a well known fact of the sexes............ A man goes into a shop for a newspaper exact change in hand, quick & that's the end of the transaction. ....However a woman goes into a shop for a newspaper, it goes slightly different. How much is the newspaper.... rumbles in purse, eh! what is the price again. Sorry don't have the exact amount only a fiver, or tenner. I need some scratch cards as well & some..............................................................................

DEAD THREAD RISE!!!

SUVs: Useless off-road, ungainly on-road and no f**kwit who buys them knows how to drive them.

Small people: They get under foot and they're dangerous with umbrellas. Anyone under 5' 4" just shouldn't be allowed. Full stop!

I look at these thread resurrections, it's a shame to see the names who have moved on..even SS who was moved on

It would ruddy hurt a ladies' tuppence if all children had to start at least 5' 4" though wouldn't it?

Just a bit

Echoed.

Two of my old threads resurrected on the same day; what are the odds?

(Cue Neil to tell us the odds)

He specified length, not width...

Fair one!

Oh I forgot the important part; small ADULTS! Don't worry, you won't have to give birth to 5'4" children!

And today's rant: Glitter. Having just signed a card covered in glitter, thus myself getting covered in the stuff, all glitter should be banned! - of both the spangley and the Gary type.

Tuppence I thought it was just mrs c2d and Claire c2d called it that

Elnet hairspray, the devils breath, it stinks and sits in the air for hours so you can taste it.

being a doorman i hear all sorts
1 pissing down with rain ... and i get asked "is it raining " as woman leave the pub
2 "the pub has stopped serving the bar is closed"..... "can i get a 1 last pint"...... errrr NO
3 "this is my life " 1/2 hour later...... "i am not interested now off" .... i wish
4 "why cant i come in" ..... "you are pissed and cant stand up"..... 2mins pass ...... "can i come in and get a drink"
5 "why have you dragged me out of the pub ..... "you were touching up a woman"...... "you are a raciest fascist"
6 "why do i have to go"..... "you have been asleep at the bar"......."you are a raciest fascist"
7 "have you got ID"...... "i dont need ID i am 18"..... "so am i ".... long pause (i am 47).... "no you are not 18 you are as old as my dad "..... "i cant prove i am 18 neither can you".... so the usual "you are a raciest fascist"
8 "can i see your ID please"..... big huddle and you guessed it "you are a raciest fascist"

Helga from 'Allo 'allo maybe?

The first time I saw it, about 6 years ago now I'm guessing, I was quite taken with it.
It was a symbol of great British resolve, stiff upper lip and the 'come on let's just hunker down and get on with it' attitude that won us the war against all the odds.
A symbol of a bygone Britain when people said 'could I have a white coffee please' not 'yea, can I get a skinny latte'
It had a nice simple, bold font and a design which was both modern and timeless,
It said KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON
Now I challenge you to walk down any high street and not see at least ten hilarious permutations of this slogan, keep calm and drink wine (I nearly pissed myself) keep calm and do the dishes (i did it yesterday LOL!!!) keep calm and gangnam (ha ha have you seen it on you tube it's soooo funny!!!)
I can't keep calm while i'm losing the will to live…..

This morning I'm feeling an entirely rational hatred for the 139 people who complained to the BBC that Holly Willoughby's dress was too revealing on Saturday night...



Not for the first time I find that The Daily Mash has the most rational response to the problem.

People who insist up crawling up to and also not setting off from green traffic lights. I knwo that there is a chance they can change on approach BUT they warn you with a special orange colour first, then you use the the peddle next to the go one to ensure you stop, well, going. Once these lights show you the same special orange signal prepare your car to move off. Please for gods sake don't continue to sit there, waiting, picking your nose and playing with yourself until there is a 50 ft gap between you and the car infront before you set off. Granted some people have no urgency and don't really have any where to be so WHY THE ARE YOU ON THE ROAD AT 7 AM DITHERING ABOUT!

Ol' willabooby was blamed for the drop in ratings a few weeks back for not having 50% of her knockers on show. I'm sure strickly has shown more cracks, lumps and bumps than that!

After shouting at someonw in Homebase last week for constantly dragging their feet, I feel I should now declare it here... It makes me seeth

Another one (which I'm sure is very common and perhaps not irrational) is chops slapping, crisp crunching, sandwich slurping(??!!) noise when eating. Two people sit opposite me at work and I have visions of calmly walking around the desk and punching them across the jaw when it flops open, and knocking it all the way around the back of their heads. I have to leave the room and make tea until they're finished.

That feels much better