... but I do just *love* this film review site.

They way they can manage to find something to take offence at in almost every film ever shown and link it all back to the bible is just wonderful. It's a damn shame that this is a serious site, because it would work just as well as satire.

Oh, for best effect you have to imagine some boderline sex case reading out the review to you, getting increasingly louder and more shrill, with bits of spittle flying everywhere towards the end.

All the best bits of the film listed......and then (shout it) DAMNED!!!

They didnt even review Bad Santa, i would love to have known what they would have said about Billy Bob and the fat girl in the changing room!

Ohh.... my.... god....(I will go to hell now for typing God by the CAP people no doubt)

That is absolutely hilarious. You can just imagine them watching a film and cringing every 2 seconds, then tutting about the CAP rating going up.

And the one which I read was 101 dalmations!

"Programming presenting questionable material warranting the loss of minumum level points included:


realistic trauma and injury
inappropriate dress
punk/hood manerisms, purse snatching
"Take care of #1"
sadness from loss of caregiver
gunfire at a story character
threats to achieve good favor
the use of God's name in vain without the four letter expletive
imagery of animal control police as brutal
imagery of out of body experience, resurrection
adult underwear twice
hanging onto an ambulance while riding a bike"

And this evil film was......Babe: Pig in the City!!!

Also nice to see that the Simpsons Movie is one of the most evil, degrading, damaging films ever made.

Also note with interest that the story of Jonah on a kids dvd loses marks for showing violence of "Jonah being eaten by a whale", and "Jonah disobeying God". You see that book they keep banging on about is just full of this kind of stuff and should be banned!

I like the references back to the bible passage.

"Also note that one of the boy guests tried to touch mom's backside [Ruth 2:9, 15]"

Very thorough.

Picking on ET has got to be hard work though.

For maximum cognitive dissonance compare the reviews of Bruce Almighty and Dogma

They didn't like Dogma much did they! LOL

Twistin' my words? that's the devil's work.

besides, are you saying that a book has a bum?

Sorry, I guess I'm even more likely to burn in hell now......

I think if you've even seen The Simpson's Movie you should get you asbestos underwear on now.

Even worse, I've seen American Psycho. They most evil film ever made, getting 0/100.

I note there is no entry for the Life of Brian!

Heh, I've just read the review of Zathura: A space adventure where he bitches about how he's got so little time to review movies, what with looking after his 7 kids and then docks the movie points because you can see a *bra strap*.

Oh, the immorality. I let my daughter watch that, not knowing it was going to be like Soddom on a Saturday night.

"I'm not one to mock deeply held beliefs ..."

Jimmy chin chin

It's not surprising to me that some issue can be taken at every secular film, but I am a bit baffled if the Jonah film was marked down for showing Jonah as being disobedient to God, as this is a matter of scriptural integrity as he was disobedient. I therefore wonder if their aim is rather more of an academic exercise rather one of criticism. It does look to be quite serious.

That said, can't say I'll be paying a return visit, but I guess for parents who want to know what lies behind a certificate it could be useful; certainly more useful than that other Christian film site I remember you finding.

Was there another one? I've probably just posted this one before - I'm nothing if not unoriginal.

As for their reviews - The passion of the Christ seemed to give them some problems as well. They approved of the film for 'accurately' showing the suffering that Jesus endured on our behalf, but then weren't happy that it showed the suffering that Jesus endured.

Andrew, isn't this a repost, by you in the first place?

Would have loved to have seen their reviews of "I spit on your grave" or "Debby does Dallas".

What will happen to the people writing the reviews or do they have protective powers?

Censors (and would-be censors) throughout the ages have had powers that make them imune to things that would morally damage others, so it's alright.

Plus, of course, God knows that he doesn't really want to have to watch that filth, so won't punish him for it.

You load of heathens, say your hail mary's now!

Oh, and whilst you're there, have a look and see if you can find a review for Ken Russell's "The Devils" (Oliver Reed, Vanessa Redgrave). Now that would be one LONG review

Hail Mary, Mother of God
Blessed art thou amongst women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus
erm, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death
um, no - that's all I've got from memory.

Although quite why you'd want to pray to some strumpet who doesn't let her bloke get any, but is happy to take it off a stranger just because he's got wings and claims that god sent him is a mystery to me.

I thought you knew your Bible a little bit better than that!! That suggests to me that you've never read it, which I find very surprising!

Or I may just have been mocking deeply held beliefs ... just like I never do

Although, of course, if you're a Catholic (like wot I am, technically) then Mary did remain a virgin all of her life and Biblical reference to Jesus having brothers and sisters are meant in a purely fraternal, rather than literal, way.

Honest. If you think that the bible quite clearly uses the literal sense then there's a bloke in Rome you need to talk to.

Ha ha, yeah whatever. Before you know it, you'll be telling me that the human race, in all it's shapes, sizes and colours, and on the many different continents it appeared, wasn't started by two people in a garden somewhere!!

Nice red herring!

It was your account your understanding of the incarnation that was dodgy even tongue wedged firmly in cheek - confusing the Holy Spirit with an angel - I was and am genuinely surprised about that

Not aware of any reference to Jesus having sisters - but you could be right. I'm a catholic myself - rather than a Roman Catholic, and there may be something from Rome covering that (has the papacy been wrong before? )

If you haven't read it, you ought to.

Oh, right, now I'm with you.

I was more referring to the fact that it's an angel that turns up to tell Mary that she's with Messiah. The actual method of the Holy Spirit getting in to her isn't covered in detail and 'hand' delivered is as good as any.

Jesus' sisters get a brief mention in Matthew 13:56, although they aren't named individually as his brothers are.

As for the papacy being wrong - as I'm sure you know the Pope is entitled to be wrong about as much as he likes, as long as he's not speaking ex cathedra and as, so far, they've always had the sense to speak infallibly only on matters which are beyond earthly proof it's a pretty safe bet.

The angel came to Mary before she conceived (he came to Joseph after). Actually the hand-delivered point is interesting because that is one of the issues with Rome, whether Mary was the "bearer" or "mother". There is a translation issue underlying this which escapes me for the moment. I guess embryonic implantation would go with the former, whereas sperm would go with the latter (which is not something you can say in every restaurant).

Thanks for the Matthew reference, I'll look that up when I get home.

Apologies for going off topic.

well apparently, 2 fast 2 furious contains lies, suggestive eye movement, and massive tatoos

They seem to have something against facial piercings as well....what's that all about?