Because I'm lost on the music lyrics (most of the time) I thought I'd set up a rival 'quiz' for the crossword buffs out there. Below are 5 cryptic clues, the first person to get all 5 is invited to post their own.

The last person to post to the thread before it runs out of interest (i.e. very soon) wins their own weight in self-esteem.

1. Everybody on the ship is confused (3,2,3)
2. Oh, godfather, I messed up. Will this make me feel better in the morning? (4,2,3,3)
3. Striker in game of football? (5)
4. We hear Edward is diminished and lacking direction (8)
5. Misers try charm; the wrong way to provide a seasonal greeting (5,9)

Best of luck, please feel free to Google if you think it will help.

2 - hair of the dog
5 - merry christmas

Are anagrams your forte, Barnacle?

1/ all at sea?

Yes, well done.

3. Match?

Indeed.

Headless?

('edless')

Someone else continue - I am teaching now.

I'm not usually too bad at anagrams, Andrew. I had 'all at sea', too, but I couldn't make it fit the clue in a way that felt complicated enough...

Nobody? Then I'll go again.

6. As Christmas Day begins one's weight in Church? (8,4)

Midnight Mass

midnight mass

Aw c'mon Mark, gimme time to *read* it!

Sorry, next time I'll have pudding!

Was that the clue?

Nope, but something that could have delayed me getting back in front of the computer by the seconds barnacle needed.

Going with your thought, though

Lawyer's pudding (4,8)

Just desserts

ding !

Headstone mix-up could be serious (5,5)

Grave error?

Nice one, Stan. It's all those years practising on The Sun cryptic in your squad car, with the radio turned off, isn't it?

Yup!

Television alpha numeric conundrums? (9)

Countdown

And the first time I typed that I missed the 'o' out ... which would have made it a very different programme indeed.

Ding dong! (For the correct spelling!)

Lend the norm, but not up to scratch (11)

substandard

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pq8ZHIHxF5A



I said nothing.

Initially, you ate my sweet potato.

Easy one.

Yam

yes. go on.

Before taking to the road prove one can tee-off (7,4)

While we're on a particularly good one came up in The Telegraph a few weeks ago...

Anti-mass movement (8)

driving test

Well done.

Satanism

Reduction in status of the French movement. 8

retreat (damn only 7)

Demotion

Yep,away you go then Andrew

Do these help us spot an argument? (9,5)

Is it quotation marks?

No.

different/ing views?

No.

Sheesh, I go a tiny bit self-referential and it throws everybody.

Egotistic pr!ck?

<Roy Walker>
It's a good guess, but it's not what we're looking for.
</RW>

reference point

Double sheesh.



Somebody else have a go now.

Sarcastic posts

I was thinking of the second word, so halfway there!

Costly covering, we hear, for an animal's family. (6,3)

Just made that up!

Wealth Tax ?

nope.

Ignore me, too many letters.

Negative

Sorry - mistake. Let me make it better.

Costly covering for an animal's family, we hear (4-4), or (8).

I was thinking along the lines of something to with fur but now I'm completely thrown.

Sealskin

D'Oh, was I being thick or what? Deerskin.

How are we going to get it if the clues wrong

Do we get sore feet if the clues wrong? (3-5)

(gimme a break; that's my first cryptic clue!)

Not right

Nope!

Cut heels.

And the trifle with a cherry on top goes to the man in Northumberland!

"See you!", said a policeman (6)

copper

Ding!

No seasonal bread? Virgin stirs heartsick scams (10,4)

Christmas Cake

Someone else's turn; I'm out for the next week or so.

A merry auxiliary gifting period one and all, said Tiny Tim!

Arrange to cry or sing, bob, and you could become famous. (4,6)

I'll make it easier then.

Come on - I've made it easy.

Bing Crosby?

Possibly the slowest answer to a clue ever...

I've been thinking about it.

I could tell!

Must have been a long year.

Secrety glad the thread has been resurrected though. Your turn.

Once the penny drops, place becomes unbalanced? (8)

See you in January 2012

Doppelganger is an ex campanologist? 4,6

Wait up there! I haven't verified the answer yet!

OK, proceed

Dead Ringer

A campanologist's job reminds me of something. (5,1,4)

Rings a bell

A full stop to all these campanologist clues (4,3)

Dead end

or Bell end.... (sorry mods)

Second one

Have we forgotten about this one? I'm still working my way through a list of all 8 letter words.

i'll make it easier - replace 'place' with 'town'

Give in - what's the answer?

Unstable (Dunstable - with out 'D' for penny)

Very good.

Still your turn, then.

ok - how about ( a bit contrived I'm afraid!)

Open University pact, combined with Electronic Fuel Injection, provides style and paranoia? 4,5

FIAT coupé

A *bit* contrived?

How about "I face up to problems, Italian style".

How many letters?

coupe fiat perhaps?

Which car brings us to...

Express success with a rusting coolant mess (15).

congratulations?

Indeed!

These cars are excellent, but it's a job to double their value!



C R


(7,11)

The answer is

ah. Didn't realise it was linked to the previous Fiat Coupe answer!

A grave with initial interment ceremony is baffling (7)

cryptic one that..!

Indeed.

Do I detect a spelling mistake, Andrew, or is that part of the clue?

Speeling mistook?

makes no diferense...

Shallow?

I'm rubbish at these....

No spelling mistake I can see. Anyway, SimonCoupe your turn.

Hat for the hood? (6)

Bonnet

A daily jumble of cardinals with writing material (9)

newspaper...

Too easy. You have another blast.

Underworld welshman is women's work? (7)

OK, I reckon 2 years is long enough to think about this ... I give in.

You give up easy, Andrew, I'm still thinking..

Shall we work together on it?

You may do better by yourself

(Rachel) Trezise.

It's still got me stumped. Can't make any sensible word out of Dai + hell.