Although it's Friday I have to work tomorrow when I'd much rather be playing rugby. Also, I woke up on the wrong side of bed today and can't seem to get out of this mood.

So I thought I'd share with you lucky people some very petty things that make me want to commit murder.

LOL - just f**k off. You're not a teenager.

"I'm like Marmite, you either love me or hate me" - not because you're dirty looking and you stink then?

People who you tell you will ring back this afternoon and they ring you at 3pm because they haven't heard from you yet - There's still plenty of afternoon left you imbecile and you've just earned yourself a place at the bottom of my 'to do' list.

The c**ts who watch me work from the pub window across the street at 10am whilst already on their second pint - I have imagined their firey death on occasions too numerous to mention.

Katy Perry's Firework - Has there been a worse song ever? Give it up Ms Perry, your talents are wasted in the music business.

Whoever had the brignt idea to make my rugby matches kick off at the same time as the England internationals - Everyone involved is a surely a rugby fan (30+players, referee, bloke who sorts the fixtures, everyone watching, etc). Just f*****g make it earlier!!!

Feel free to add your own. Or don't, I don't give a sh*t.

Ah, that's better.

Haha Sam, so true about computers! I really don't know a whole load about them if I'm being honest, but for some reason my evil stepmother always takes it upon herself to ring me and expect me to fix theirs when it's broken.

@ali_hire: lol

Stupid people
People who ask you a question then dont listen to the answer.
People who ask a question then ignore what you say in preference of what they already think.
People who don't listen to instructions then wonder why the cant work the thing they've just been instructed on.
People thinking that you want to spend your spare time doing what you do for a living for their benefit.

I have just taken to saying no now, I no longer care if it upsets them
OR
I ask said person if they would mind coming around this weekend and performing some task that could loosely be based on there day job

Dealing with insurance companies and their valuation engineers... !

Not cloud nine, hate the swear guardian

Unless of course it happens to be somebody like this

You haven't turned into a woman overnight have you? This happens on a regular basis to all the women I've lived with...

As this is the irrational hatred thread can I just vent spleen and shout ...

THERE - refers to a location!

THEIR - indicates possession!

THEY'RE - a contraction of "they are"!

It's not rocket science, people!

Also, "your" is always possessive, "you're" is a contraction of "you are". The number of people who repeatedly get this wrong is shameful.

Their their, no need to get you're knickers in a twist

Actually, this reminds me of a poster I have at home, which has been signed: "Best wish'es, Steven Gerrard".

I hate it when people ask me to go to their houses and fix there computer. Your always put on the spot when your asked if you want any thing towards it

Yep, that about does it, watch for the vented spleen

terrible handwriting is another of mine
I know people who have handwriting so bad even they struggle to read it! what's that all about?

You're doing it on purpose now, aren't you?

People that don't indicate!

I cross a section of dual carriageway on my way to work. The crossing point (no lights or anything) is just near the exit of a roundabout. I'd say 60% of people don't indicate so I have no idea whether they'll turn or not so I stand like a lemon waiting for a clear space. So many drivers have no idea that lights and indicators help other road users. Again, the number of people that drive in poor light/rain with just sidelights or no lights (reasoning, presumably, that they can see the road) is soooo frustrating. Whilst I used to hate the Scandinavian cars with permanent headlights, I welcome the introduction of LED daylight running lights to take the decision out of the hands of these people.

Ewe no Sam..... eye am knot shore if your Triang two bee funny awe knot.

Speed.

I have this problem and it's not fair

My calligraphy is amazing, but it takes me absolutely ages to write stuff (about 3-5 seconds per letter). I spend all concentration on the formation of characters and consequentially miss characters, and sometimes whole words unless I write it down first

If I write at "normal" speed, it's atrocious.

A happy medium gives legibility, but it still takes too long to be useful.

fair point, when I write quickly its far from great but at least I can read it.

My main bugbear is when people write things that others have to be able to read that are un-readable to the point where you ask them what it says and they reply "not sure, but I think it might say...."

Ridiculous spelling mistakes, made over and over again, no matter how many times they have been told.

Loose, instead of lose.
Definate.
Sentance.

...and rest.

Oh, non-indicators, too.

Somebody at work has just reminded me of something which really gets on my nerves.

Over-use of clichés. In fact, use of clichés generally.

Especially "at the end of the day".

Grrr...

No he's not Andrew, Sam genuinely can't spell!

I got my first -ve feedback on eBay today... because the twatty buyer bought the wrong thing....like it's my fault!!!! GRRRR!

Waht a great idea... now i just need to get friendly with a few exotic dancers/attractive escorts who know stuff all about computers

Talk to Truffle!

Why? Is he a pole dancer who knows stuff all about computers?


<grins, waves, runs away, a long way away!>

If you knew what my house mate is studying at uni, you would be surprised that Barnacle isn't as far off as you might think!

People who sit at traffic lights with their foot on the foot brake... for 5 minutes. High level LED bulbs mean I CAN'T SEE A [cloud9] THING for 10 minutes. What is wrong with the handbrake or, if the road is level, no brake? I'd say at least 95% of people do this and it drives me wild. Full beam in your wing mirror then sir?

People who cause traffic. ANYONE who insists on stop start driving needs to be gassed. It causes the very traffic they sit in day in, day out. They then wait 5 seconds to pull away AFTER the car in front has, even though they can see the traffic lights change/ traffic start to move a minute before hand. When they do eventually pull away, it would usually be good enough for a 2.1s 60ft at Santa Pod. When you can pull away, maintain a regular speed that means you will NEVER have to stop and see what happens to the traffic behind

Humans
I'm really starting to long for an apocalypse

AGREE massively - on the 1st one espeically!!!!!

scottish football referees, why , they lie.

I'm on a motorbike! I only have a front brake and back brake - they both operate the brake light! Give me a little breathing space here, you !

another hoops fan

Lack of tolerance.

Unwillingness to allow different ways to do things.

Barnacle's irrational hatred of smilies and Christmas.

No, cancel the latter, I agree with that.

Oh and on the spelling thing yes some folk have fair trouble with it [my first missus for example] but there is always something else they can do really well which makes up for it.

I've got a coupe, I hold it on the footbrake at the lights to stop the rears freezing on in the cold weather!

Sorry I drive a Coupe FIAT and its so cold I am afraid if I use the handbrake it will never release!

Lol, I used to keep my foot on the brake at lights, but due to several people mentioning their annoyance at this on previous threads, I have tried to stop doing it, especially at Coupe meets

People randomly whistling whatever random tune they are supposed to be whistling is annoying

The latest thing to really, extremely annoy me are people who say a sentence like it's a question.
Hard to explain this in words, but seems to be happening more often and it's really irritating.

Instead of speaking in a normal tone of voice, the person speaks, with the tone of voice becoming higher towards the end of the sentence and says it like it's a question.

For example, instead of just saying something like 'I took my car out for a good run today and enjoyed it', it seems to have changed into 'you know what I did today? I took my car out for a run? and you know what? I really enjoyed it?'

Obviously hard to explain the tone of voice on here, but I really feel like thumping the next person that does it

Every Tom, Harry and Dick(head) thinking they can tell the world, the pub patrons, or Facebook that global warming/climate change is in full swing simply because they looked out the of window and white crap is falling from the sky.

No, really now, NO, you actually know naff all about an incredibly complex system that is by its very nature unpredictable and nobody, including politicians taxing here or there, can control. Simply because we're having unusual weather it doesn't give you the right to pretend you have any more clue than the useless Met Office about what's happening or why. Take your ill-informed bullshit, roll it into a big snowball and ram it up your arse

It's an American thing?

What really makes me wriggle and seethe inside my outfit is when someone starts a very long sentence (?), and the tone gradually goes up (?), leading you think it is about to end (?), but then it continues (?), until eventually you just can't stand it any more (?), and want to scream at them (?) just finish the sentence ???!!!

Phew!

Phenomenon - used as the plural!!

One website which is entitled 'Unexplained Phenomenon' proceeds to discuss 'an unusual phenomena'. The worst case was a 'PhD' from the States, who announced in serious academic tones, "These phenomenae deserve further study .."

I mean. what else can you do but laugh?



Criterion. 'This is the criteria for ...'

For God's sake, it's not as if people are being asked to speak Greek!

Err...

The rising tone at the end of a sentence? Australian... I blame Neighbours and similar brain-wash.

And I have an irrational hatred of Edinburgh's irrational hatred of my irrational hatred of smilies and christmas... until I read the next line and realised I have an irrational hatred of of recursion.

And an irrational hatred of recursion. To see why, go back one paragraph.

I'm with Brian on misuse of language though: it's not difficult - if you don't know the word, English has so many (well over half a million) that there's bound to be one for which you *do* know the plural. And by the way, all reporters on the BBC and everywhere else: One is 'ahead of' someone in a race; an event (or phenomenon) happens 'before' another... get it right.

Oh, and aberrant apostrophe's. <-- spot the aberrant apostrophe!

Aye, the so called upward speak, this realy does my head in. Both my daughter & son inlaw suffer this annoying trait from time to time. It's "me" who gets into trouble if I point this out though.

Worse for me, is the very nasal or raspy voice of an American who has the upward speak habit. The Yanks do irritate me. Not that I'm at all religious, but they tend to say...Oh my "Gad" a lot. Even as a grumpy git, I feel most will agree with me on this Stop now Jim step away from the key board. Ach its early & I need more coffee.

I never know which to put, end up nearly always re-writing the sentence which probably makes matters worse.

Received is another one that I nearly always have to re-write.

As for my irrational hatreds

+ People with BO
+ People that think it's ok to be messy
+ Croydon Town Centre
+ My Client that asked me to put a DVD in the drive of a computer - I had an tannoy 'Can tim urgently go to meeting room 1' (4 flights of stairs away)TWWWAAAATTTTTT!
+ My boss for shouting at me for not doing a 5 min admin job, despite working a 60 hour week working on a project that couldn't be completed because my other boss didn't bother to get a license for citrix despite numerous emails for it.
+ Calling BT - This is definitely a new thread!
+ I think this list could go on for quite sometime!!

Mine is the "Tosser Tense". You know "I am loving..." rather than "I love", "I am soooo liking the...." instead of "I like.."

I am totally agreeing with you on this one.

Biggest pet hate is jumped up keyboard warriors who spend all their time in forums moaning about other people - ironic isnt it?

Don't be so hard on your self!

I cant help it, I guess that is what makes it such an irrational form of hatred

+1

But I am FREE, FREE, as I've kicked the bu99er's into touch and joined TalkTalk instead.







Oh, naughty tease that I am.

Oh I have a go 'in real life' too. In fact, the team at work reckons I should have a slot on Harry hill's TV Burp; Moan of the weeeeeek lol


Another thing that makes me angry, is seeing a happy person. Don't they just make you sick? Nothing cheers me up more than someone else having a bloody good rant about one thing or another.

hmmm, i hope you don't have any issues, their customer service is astonishingly inept and irritating....i'm think of leaving them for sky!!

I'll add phoning British Gas to phoning BT.

Yes - definitely need a new thread to follow Edinburgh's adventures with Talk Talk.

How long will it take for him to start complaining?

Do you mean to say that when you pay your regular visit to McDonalds you aren't lovin it?

Until they offer me a plate and a knife and fork, I shall not be setting foot in that place!!!

Theresa I found a video?
Click on the link below?
The quality isn't great?
Turn your speaker up?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3d3nf8WNSU ?????????

OMG

I can't believe you found a video, showing what I was trying to explain perfectly and that other people besides me are also noticing this tone of voice.

In fact, only you could have found this JKD. Brilliant, thanks!

Why are people doing it? Do they think they sound more intelligent or something? (questions marks NOT with THAT tone of voice attached to them )

It's annoying anyway, but when you know people that have spoken normally for years and have now started doing this,, then it's even worse

As I said earlier, this is so called upward speak. Seemingly this is a legacy we inherited from neighbours according to one of those top 10 worst things of a certain decade TV shows.

Seemingly this type of speaking is to show that your a caring person when you say something in this way. Well thats what the programme indicated.

Well, someone will certainly be caring for the next person to try and speak to me in that way

I hate this as well Theresa. Another one for me is the apostrophe fingers, I just want to snap them off when someone does this.

I thought this thread was supposed to be about irrayional hatred, all the things listed so far seem perfectly reasonably to me!

well said that man.

i cant imagine why people think we are having unusual weather though - its November, we live on an island in the northern hemisphere, and its winter.

snow is always possible.

global warming is not.

+ ringing BT. its good to talk my arse.

Natwest 'helpful banking' not so helpful when my local branch does not open on saturdays!

Jenson Button

Russell Brand - i want to harm myself every time i see his hideous face

ConDem party - what a joke

Gok Wan - why must a gay man tell fat people to take their clothes off?

Council tax - £100 per month to get my bin emptied - and the cheeky buggers still want me to wash and sort my rubbish, are you kidding me?

more to come i expect.

daytime 'running lights' (stupid fairy light things)

they look so awful

I think that's just about the only thing I have to disagree with on this list

Just a few off the top of my head

- People who amble on pavements or worse, abruptly stopping. Generally old people, oblivious to anyone else around them.

- Cars with performance badges that don't belong on the car. My favourite is M badges stuck on the boot of a bottom of the range 3 series.

- Clumsy people, who seem to be able to break things on a regular basis

- People who don't take care of things, I like my stuff to be kept in mint condition

- the Scouser accent

- Project managers, overpaid [cloud9] whose sole role is to play around with Microsoft Project and come up with inachievable dates and get bonuses for taking the credit for the engineers that actually do the work.

- Teachers, moaning lot, thinking they're under paid for what they do .. [cloud9] right off, generally, if you can't do, teach.

Oi, try it from my side sometimes...

You saved your best, most irrational one for last Dunc

Strangely enough even if Cus Serv is another remote control operation I have always found them more than patient with my glaring ineptitudes. Also the help line is free.

The only thing which spoilt this Elysian field was the aggressive terrier/lassie from Upgrade Team who knew zilch about my details and was hell-bent on commission regardless.

I have an irrational pleasure in disappointing said folk and had no hesitation in doing so.

A lot of people disagree with you. To be fair, though, they're only trained and qualified experts in the field and I doubt that more than a handful of them can drive a lorry, so the chances are that you're right and they're wrong.

Possibly.

But then, there is not a ream of leaked evidence to say that i cannot actually drive a lorry at all.

You misunderstand the evidence that was leaked and its significance. Read up on it a bit more.

There is reporter on BBC Wales who , how do I describe it?

He cannot pronounce his Rs or Ss and is generally an absolute disaster to watch. It used to be funny, I would literally have tears running down my face while he told of tragic local news stories.

Lately, its really getting me down.
This man has a disability, why is he given a job where that disability is is laid bare so dramatically?
What is new, an Art critic who is blind?
Music reviews by the deaf?

I wrote an email to the BBC a few years ago, it stated that although the story of the sucides in Newport was indeed very tragic, the whole pub was in fits of laughter watching him struggle through his piece to camera.
Their reply was the usual "we are an equal opportunities employer" crap.

If your bored have a look, its brilliant for the first few years.

Do we have a link?

When equal opportunities amounts to employing incompetents, that is funny!

I hate these fancy-dan coloured football boots....they should be black and made of leather dammit, with proper screw-in studs!

Receiving a call from your bank or other provider and after they have introduced themselves, they ask
"Due to the data protection act, please can you tell me your ..."

I hate it so much that i now always reply with "I can't tell that in the interest of my data protection, If it's important send me an e-mail!"

Unless you bank with The National Bank of Uganda, in which case I would always take the call

1) Credit agencies. Just what the [cloud9] gives these self-appointed guardians of our the banks' best interests the right to screw around with people's lives? Getting hold of reports can be very dificult, time consuming and costly, which begs the question how dare they keep data on you that can affect your life and then charge you to access it? Furthermore, once you have got the report and gone through it with a fine toothcomb, you may (as happened to us) find a 3-year old phone bill for a house you haven't lived in for 3 years on a line that should have been closed for 3 years (but that wasn't due to someone else's incompetence). This phone bill may have caused you to be inconveniently and rather embarrassingly declined for a mobile contract in a busy shop... Having these erroneous entries changed on your report takes a great deal more time, effort and ultimately expense (as you order another report to check the alterations have been carried out. Note, you can only suggest alterations then wait for action, not alter things yourself.

2) Not loading the dishwasher properly. OK, we all hate washing up, so we buy (at not inconsiderable expense) a machine to perform the task for us. The machine has neat rows of spikes and ridges to help make it really easy to put the dirty dishes in neatly. The reason for this is not so that anally-retentive people (I hear you) can arrange them in pretty rows, it's so that the dishwasher can wash the [cloud9] dishes properly. Remember the reason you bought the dishwasher? To wash the dishes. So why dump the dirty stuff in the thing (at infinitessimally less effort that stacking it neatly) and have hot, dirty dishes 30 minutes later.

3) My neighbour in France. For obvious reasons. Now can't get the electric connected until January.

4) Misreading thread titles. I thought this was for rational hatred.

Audi drivers, 'nuff said.

So what exactly is irrational about that?

people using fog lights when its not foggy.

this has to rate as one of my biggest hates.

its not cool, its not clever, its just annoying.

... and it is rife in the Mediterranean countries now. On Kos it was the norm. I flash my main beams at them. Agreed - it's not funny and it's not clever.

As it's a bit of a generalisation, surely they dont all drive like a$$holes? They just annoy me... totally agree about fog lights, just screams chav! Worst is people in people carriers with them on thinking theyre 'cool', fail!

I'm sure I've suggested this in the past, but all we need is one simple bit of Euro-legislation. All new cars must have an ECU which limits the speed to 50mph when the fog-lights are turned on.

It's usually along 30mph zones and country lanes when you get blinded by their fogs

Fog lights during daylight or night when there is no fog.

Crossover & SUVs and crew cab 4x4 pick ups for tax dodgers and gypos.

Not really a fan of private plates, but badly spaced private plates a definate hatred.

'Crackhead' drivers - the type you see in towns or on Roadwars, normally driving an old Mk1 Mondeo or Mk3 Cavalier held together with spit and tape. Always driven badly and very impatiently through red lights, wrong lanes at junctions etc as a way of highlighting to the police that they need arresting and charging with driving without licence/insurance for the 50th time that week.

Russell Brand - what a waste of DNA

Bono

Yes.

Any South Park fans will love the 'Worlds biggest crap' episode

People who DON'T use their fog lights (or any other lights) when it is foggy, or there are clouds of spray on the motorways (sorry Barnacle).

I must confess to using my foglights on some country roads at night as they shine further up the road than the sh*te glow-worms on the Coupe (memo to self; fit the HIDs that are still boxed up in the boot)!

One more... bloody outdoor Christmas lights, Santas on chimneys, reindeer in gardens, fake icicles, radioactive snowmen and other such garbage, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE UP THE DAY AFTER BONFIRE NIGHT!!!

My road at night is brighter than a Heathrow runway, and I'm sure a Ryanair plane will land at any minute. At least I don't need my foglights along my road .......

You know it's a bad sign when the electricity board come and drop in a new substation...

I have a new favourite.

The church 500yds from my office playing Silent Night over and over and over again.

DO THEY NOT KNOW ANY OTHER BLOODY TUNES!?!!?!?!?!?!

Going to Maccies drive through and after taking my order AND my money being told to park up and "we'll bring it out to you"

then 10 minutes later when they do bring it out to you (whats fast food about that!) the burger is cold i could ' kill em

A folding door in my house that won't close properly after being re-fitted by me! Even though I used all the existing screw holes

Inanimate objects that conspire to fccuck you up. As in hose pipes that get stuck under car wheels Bin liners and other random things in the garden that blow everywhere but where you want them Pockets and sleeves that catch on door handles

ah that's better

New cars should be fitted with fog lights which default to OFF when the ignition is switched off. This would help stop the dozy who insist on leaving them on until June from irritating the out of me.

People that walk straight into your house without taking their shoes off!!! (people you have invited in that is, not just strangers!)

Even if they asked it would be something!

"oooh look brand new carpets! do you wan't me to take my shoes off"

"No go ahead and walk grit salt and crap all over my house!!"

that is so annoying i agree.

i always take my shoes off in other peoples houses - unless they say different, is it not just polite to do so?

Depends how bad your feet smell or how many holes your socks have

which brings us on to the next 'hate'

socks which wear out quickly.

Drunk people when im sober!

Sober people when i'm drunk!

The general public that use the Bus. (I have to use the bus to get to work so am forced to sit next to common people that smell, chavs or are clearly on benefits)

Also queue jumpers.

People who say "welcome to my world". Smugness. Smart car drivers.

I've never seen it as such in Britain. In my wife's culture it is mandatory, of course (Ukraine), but here people get offended if you ask them.

(Actually, in rural Wales it is pretty normal, but then again, their toilets are at the bottom of the garden, isn't it.)

Ohhh, bugger

thats the weird thing though, if you ask someone to do it they seem to get annoyed and take offence, but would expect you to do the same at their house.

more hate - girls who say they have more guy friends than girls, and dont realise its only because the guys want to be their friend in order to sleep with them.

russell brand (again, but only as i was unfortunate enough to see his face on tv earlier)

heating oil prices doubling in the winter

oap drivers - 20mph tops ffs.

petrol station attendants trying to sell you some chocolate "2 for 1" when you just want to pay for your fuel and go.

tesco till workers who throw all your stuff through the zapper too fast for you to pack it, so there becomes a back log on the desk, then pause, and sigh while they wait for you to pack it.

I do actually have loads more male friends than female ones and the male friends are usually just that, friends.

Not all blokes want to sleep with a woman they are friends with and vice versa

Typo corrected T!

winds me up BIG time - in fact one of our agency workers pushed into the queue last week for the food van that comes to site. annoyed a few people, wouldn't apologise, so i binned him

Never, Duncan (& Proccio), and I mean NEVER come to Azerbaijan

Watch the vid > till the queue bit!

Its all actually how it is > CLICK

Note to self, do not get in between Proccy and his food!

you'd be safe sam, i wasn't actually in the queue myself....

when you say 'you binned him' Proccy, please elaborate

relieved him of his duties

Obvious, but hey!

People who insist on queuing when there is no need.

or on the tube.

some peoples personal hygene is beyond reproach.

Yes, some people have personal hygene that is beyond reproach. However, you wouldn't mind sitting next to them on the tube or bus.

have we agreed on something Andrew?

i suddenly feel all emotional

I would certainly hope mine was beyond reproach

I don't know. It depends on what you think the idiom, "beyond reproach" means.

Something's starting to smell on this thread...