Yesterday I had to collect a couple of people on my way to work, whereas my wife was home all day, other than having to pick our son up from nursery, so for one day it made sense for us to swap cars.

For one bloody day!

The nursery, which is in our local Methodist church-hall texted me in the morning to say there was a funeral on at picking up time, so please to collect the kids from the back door, which is at the end of a residential cul-de-sac. I duly relayed this information to my wife.

I thought she'd actually walk up to get Jamie, because it's only half a mile (admittedly up a fairly steep hill) and she doesn't like driving my car that much.

But no, she took my car, and left late and forgot all about the funeral, so by the time she made it to the cul-de-sac she was late it was pretty much full of parked cars.

She spotted a space, but it meant driving up onto the kerb, and she 'forgot' she was in my car. Cue grinding noise from the front. She tried to reverse off, to the accompaniment of worse griding noises, so she abandoned the car in the middle of the road and ran in to collect Jamie, before inspecting the damage when she came out.

The damage was that, "the mud-guard had got stuck under the wheel". I don't even know what that means, or how it could possibly happen, but apparently she tried moving the car backwards and forwards (still with it blocking the road) until a passing man offered to help her.

And 'help' her he did, by showing her that all she needed to do was rip out all of the useless plastic that was impeding her progress.

As a result of his help the back seat of my coop is now sporting the entire wheel arch lining. Bits of it are cracked, I've no idea if it's all there and the wheel arch itself is nicely bent out of shape where the good Samaritan has used brute force to yank things out of the way.

So:

1. Any helpful hints for putting it all back together?

2. Any legal advice on whether domestic violence is excusable in extenuating circumstances?

Just slap your mrs and make her re-fit the arch liner.

do you want to borrow my iron glove?

Bad times. My partner won't touch my car for this very reason.

The arch liner is fairly easy to change, just a bit of a faff. Good screwdrivers, a cup of coffee, and a nice day. A couple of hours work if the screws are all stubborn.

Get a small pin hammer, cover the head in electrical tape and use that to gently tap the lip back to shape. There's quite a lot of body work there so plenty to eye up against.

Ooops not good I feel your pain....Im not married so cannot give advice save for the fact im glad im not.

I'm not married either but I have to ask;

How can you forget you are in a Coupe?!

I'd say go and rip the wheel arch liner out of her car as revenge but I imagine you'd end up fixing that too (In my experience women never fix anything!)

It won't matter what you say, it's still your fault.

You should have taken the moral high ground and told her it was only a car and it didn't matter as long as she was ok...........oh and the repair cost would probably mean no holiday abroad this year

I would use some garden hose pipe on your missus as it shouldn't bruse to much .
Use and iron bar for the neighbourhood help .

But seriously it Should be a fairley easy fix with a new /used liner

A few kidney punches also help set them on the right path...

Blimey you're good at this!

Use the old parent/teacher line, "i'm not angry, just disappointed". Then set fire to all her shoes.

"forgot she was in your car" reminds me of an ex that reversed into my car, her excuse was; 'I knew it was there, I just didn't see it'

I bought my Mrs a new Golf so such tales could be avoided!
She knows the Coupe is off limits!
If she needs MY car she can have the Audi or Saab...

I like everyone else am willing to share my experience but I cant because my ex said it wasn't her so I guess it was the damage fairy who scraped the rear quarter because when the front of the car is clear the back must also be clear.

I don't know if any of us know how you legally stand mate (which was your question) but you've made a great thread for us to complain

If it's any consolation...

Many many years ago, Anita borrowed the coupe (it was only three years old at the time) and managed to interface it with a scaffold bar sticking out of the side of an unlit skip...

Peeled the bonnet, passenger door, and rear three-quarter right back.

I wasn't all that happy.

Ouch that sounds expensive!

That reminds me of a tale I got told about a Jaguar XJ40 going through an auction house, a potential bidder was stood very close to it and his leg caught the mudflap which then unpeeled the front wing just like a tin of corned beef, the bidder jumped back in alarm, his hand went up (an involuntary action he claimed) and the hammer went down!

As I read this all I could think was OMG!
You poor man my fella would have burnt me at the stake if I did that much damage to his beloved coupe.....

So punishments.... No holidays, no new clothes or shoes, put on a sulky face for a good few weeks( works my my fella does it) oh and a sex ban should really make her understand the love a man feels for his coupe

I find they usually blame it on being pregnant, having been pregnant, thinking about getting pregnant or vaguely knowing someone who fits into any of the previous scenarios. The fact that the bollard was in the same place for the last 20 years is irrelevant.

Maybe you should ask her if she wants decking on the patio........

I feel your pain and anger.
Mrs Lego is not insured/allowed to drive coupe.

I take pride in having none of the above female traits (hopefully)

Andrew, sorry to read your Coupe has been damaged

My wife drove my car once(through nessesity) said she loved driving it, much to my horror, I was secretly hoping she didn't! She said we must swap cars more often I said " oh bugger just realised I didn't put you on the insurance" I lied !!

His car is damaged, then deprives himself of the only reason to be in a steady relationship

Oooooh matron

One feels the pain Andrew. It's almost easier to have inflicted the damage oneself as an excuse for auto-immolation or crucifixion practice rather than have to suppress the indignation that your loved one did it. Been there

One thing puzzles me though, if the wheel has been introduced to the kerb the tyre would raise all the surrounding gubbins along with it. If anything similar has happened to me it's either affected the undertray or the skirt, but not the wheel arch liner. However the latter has come adrift on mine in the past and possibly the combination of full lock (haha) and change of height has caused the tyre to come in contact with the loose bit and caused a major de-seating. In particular there is a small panel in the front of the liner which is detachable - that's my surmise FWIW.

Is it possible to do a temp repair on the cracks with the tarry-backed tape used to mend/seal roofs?

Well, and my missus just scraped/dented/rippled/massacred her 159's rear door against a brick wall turning into the garage. She only got it back last week after someone moved her buper a couple of mm.

Looks like we're going to have another surge of damage. Be careful people, it was like this last year as well.