Ok, maybe not dead...

Off to see the Manics in Southampton on Tuesday, and making a couple of days of it. Apart from going to the Isle of Wight from there once, I know nothing about the place.

Anyone got any tips?

Roadking will be along in a moment to tell you they have the prettiest horses.

I understand wearing a Portsmouth shirt there can gain you a whole load of new friends in the A & E department.

The best thing about Southampton is the sign telling you you've just left it.

It depends what you're after really. If the weather is nice I'd recommend the short drive to the New Forest. There are some lovely walks and The Oak Inn at Lyndhurst is great.

If you like shopping and gastropubs then Ocean Village or West Quay might be up your street.

Sadly*, I don't think Portsmouth FC registers on the radar in Southampton anymore given that they** play in Europe and we*** are just about avoiding relegation into the Conference.


* I say sadly, I actually couldn't care less as the ball is the wrong shape.
** Southampton, AKA The Scummers
*** Portsmouth, the financially raped almost non-league soccer team

As Ali says, New Forest is probably best, if you're there at the weekend go to the larger car park on the Rhinefield Ornamental Drive there's an ice cream van that sells the best ice cream - Lemon Meringue, oh yeah.

To be fair I live in So'ton and wouldn't bother visiting it. I would say though a quick visit to Dog Shit City (Pompey) and you'll be a whole lot happier to be in Scummer Town.

If you wanted to go all the way to Bovington (next to Monkey world) I can get you free tickets to the Tank Museum!

Wow, RK, you sell the area so well!

Southampton, home of the happy traffic warden.

I once visited the town in my French registered LHD car to go to the Boat Show. This specimen decided that I should not park in the exhibitors area (I was an exhibitor) and stood in front of the car to stop me.

He then noticed that I had documents on the dashboard in front of me and decided that he was going to grab them to read but was somewhat surprised to find his arm shut in the window.

Needless to say I complained when I finally got into the show; the moment I mentioned his name and number the cops couldn't apologise enough.

Another time I was there I didn't have change for a parking meter and asked another of them if he had any. Bloody hell talk about lighting the blue touch paper.

I have never been there since.

So, the upshot of it all is "Not a lot"!!