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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: Hyperlink]
#1601015
20/05/2017 22:01
20/05/2017 22:01
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,645
JKD
OP
Forum is my job
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OP
Forum is my job
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,645
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I'd say Wikipedia describes 'normal' quite succinctly... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normality_(behavior) Normality as opposed to being deviant, eccentric or unusual. Behavior can be normal for an individual (intrapersonal normality) when it is consistent with the most common behaviour for that person. Normal is also used to describe individual behaviour that conforms to the most common behaviour in society (known as conformity). Definitions of normality vary by person, time, place, and situation – it changes along with changing societal standards and norms. Normal behavior is often only recognized in contrast to abnormality. In its simplest form, normality is seen as good while abnormality is seen as bad.[1] Someone being seen as normal or not normal can have social ramifications, such as being included, excluded or stigmatized by larger society. As for success, I think it's reasonable to say it means 'achieving whatever you want in life.' In the context of this thread and of course when it comes to society, the most easily identifiable form of success is how much wealth one has attained. no I don't agree with your premise. Reasons?
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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: JKD]
#1601022
21/05/2017 01:09
21/05/2017 01:09
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 479 Northampton
srm6
Enjoying the ride
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Enjoying the ride
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 479
Northampton
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As for success, I think it's reasonable to say it means 'achieving whatever you want in life.' In the context of this thread and of course when it comes to society, the most easily identifiable form of success is how much wealth one has attained. Really? I'd not like myself if I thought that was the only / best way in which success could be assessed
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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: JKD]
#1601027
21/05/2017 08:55
21/05/2017 08:55
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 5,094 highlands
jimboy
Club Member 857
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Club Member 857
Forum is my life
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 5,094
highlands
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A very "how long is a piece of string" kind of question indeed. On so many times on here I've said we all have a story to tell, we all handle things in our own way, we all view situations differently. Just to say, my wife turned 60 yesterday & we celebrated with a friends & family DO. To say it was emotional at times because of our close ties/stories of everyone's story book of life, would be putting things a bit mildly to say the least. Lifes is just too precious to dwell about things, grab it by the short & curlies & hang on for the ride is what I say.....
I'm an old git & happy with it,most of the time
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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: JKD]
#1601075
21/05/2017 22:13
21/05/2017 22:13
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,200 england
came2dance
I AM a Coop
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I AM a Coop
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 13,200
england
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Two examples...
1. A person with absolutely no social skills, who has a very low paying job, who doesn't go out at all, and has no friends.
2. A person who has excellent social skills, who has a very high paying job, is always out partying and going on holidays with the lots of friends they have.
In your opinion, which person reaches a universal (or as universal as possible) standard of being 'normal' and 'successful' in life? These two people. The low paid guy that never goes out may never go out because he can't afford it. The few friends he has may well be true friends that really look out for each other. Or he may have a pastime that he loves, birdwatching or stamp collecting and he may be perfectly happy and enjoying his life. The other guy he may be loaded he may have loads of friends who are very superficial and fickle and would be gone in a flash once the champagne dried up. This guy may hate the stress of having to work so hard and go out all the time even though he's feeling depressed, sometimes suicidal. He hates his life. So where do you measure success. is it defined by happiness or wealth.
www.chrisdoyle-photography.co.uk
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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: came2dance]
#1601090
22/05/2017 06:08
22/05/2017 06:08
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glenn1960
Unregistered
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glenn1960
Unregistered
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Two examples...
1. A person with absolutely no social skills, who has a very low paying job, who doesn't go out at all, and has no friends.
2. A person who has excellent social skills, who has a very high paying job, is always out partying and going on holidays with the lots of friends they have.
In your opinion, which person reaches a universal (or as universal as possible) standard of being 'normal' and 'successful' in life? These two people. The low paid guy that never goes out may never go out because he can't afford it. The few friends he has may well be true friends that really look out for each other. Or he may have a pastime that he loves, birdwatching or stamp collecting and he may be perfectly happy and enjoying his life. The other guy he may be loaded he may have loads of friends who are very superficial and fickle and would be gone in a flash once the champagne dried up. This guy may hate the stress of having to work so hard and go out all the time even though he's feeling depressed, sometimes suicidal. He hates his life. So where do you measure success. is it defined by happiness or wealth. .................very true !
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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: JKD]
#1601091
22/05/2017 06:39
22/05/2017 06:39
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,927 The Faringdon Folly
oxfordSteve
Forum is my job
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Forum is my job
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,927
The Faringdon Folly
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Person one may be perfectly happy with his lot, not everyone judges themselves by the number of people they surround themselves with. Person 2 may eventually become jaded with the constant competition with this bunch of competitive arseholes he has picked up since 6th form but can't get rid of, but he's stuck now, and can't face the fact that he has wasted his life trying to keep them all happy. It will come to a head when, at 43 one of his (single) mates suggest a lads weekend in Dubai or Vegas before realising he's far too old for this sh#t. He will them trade in his wife for a younger model in order to recapture his 20s who will constantly cheat on him, then leave him, taking g the other half of his stuff. He dies sad and alone. Person one is still going through his life as he always has done. Person 3 thinks that attempting to make judgements on other people without walking a mile in their shoes is an idiot.
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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: JKD]
#1601101
22/05/2017 09:07
22/05/2017 09:07
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,244 Watford, Herts.
Hyperlink
Forum is my life
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Forum is my life
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,244
Watford, Herts.
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I was going to post something very similar to those above.
I am really not sure what point your trying to make/discuss or why. People are different with different needs, wants, etc and trying to shoehorn everyone into some arbitrary category will miss the actual detail which is what matters.
Last edited by Hyperlink; 22/05/2017 11:08.
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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: JKD]
#1601110
22/05/2017 12:15
22/05/2017 12:15
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 5,094 highlands
jimboy
Club Member 857
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Club Member 857
Forum is my life
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 5,094
highlands
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Aye most of us are singing from the same hymn sheet & generally most people get on with life & handle in their own way the road to where they are going. I'm not privy as to your situation JKD, but I suspect from this thread & others you have posted, there are some issues going on in your life. As a carer/support worker I deal with men who have issues one way or another, it's not easy for some & I do sympathise. I try to remain professional & can only advise/listen & point in the right direction.
I'm an old git & happy with it,most of the time
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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: JKD]
#1601114
22/05/2017 13:53
22/05/2017 13:53
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 17,367 Staffordshire
Nigel
Forum veteran
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Forum veteran
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 17,367
Staffordshire
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Sam makes a great point above I spent many years thinking I wasn't particularly "successful" (at least not if you measure wealth by the value of the car / house / bank balance etc) However, now I'm older, I'm still not wealthy, but I have a lovely wife (incidentally - 30 year anniversary tomorrow ), two great kids and an adorable grand-daughter. On this basis, I'm the most successful person I've ever come across. "Success" isn't absolute - its a very relative term.
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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: oxfordSteve]
#1601122
22/05/2017 17:29
22/05/2017 17:29
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,466 Kent
Submariner
My job on the forum
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My job on the forum
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,466
Kent
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Person one may be perfectly happy with his lot, not everyone judges themselves by the number of people they surround themselves with.
Person 2 may eventually become jaded with the constant competition with this bunch of competitive arseholes he has picked up since 6th form but can't get rid of, but he's stuck now, and can't face the fact that he has wasted his life trying to keep them all happy. It will come to a head when, at 43 one of his (single) mates suggest a lads weekend in Dubai or [cloud9] Vegas before realising he's far too old for this sh#t. He will them trade in his wife for a younger model in order to recapture his 20s who will constantly cheat on him, then leave him, taking g the other half of his stuff. He dies sad and alone.
Person one is still going through his life as he always has done.
Person 3 thinks that attempting to make judgements on other people without walking a mile in their shoes is an idiot. for person number 2 after losing half his 'stuff'(caveat: half or 50% is usually the best he will achieve)....but you forgot he will probably lose his kids too (Should he have them) It seems in the UK the masses measure some of these issues by the size of a person's house and how many new expensive (mostly German) car's are on the driveway. What can't be measured or shoved in someone else's face to show success is to love and have the love of a partner and being a parent...two of the most awesome thing's ever as Nigel alludes to above. Apparently Phillip Green, Rupert Murdoch etc etc are 'successful' it always makes me wonder why we extol the virtues of psychopaths,narcissists, crooks, cheats and bullies in our society.
Last edited by Submariner; 22/05/2017 18:16.
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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: JKD]
#1601315
24/05/2017 17:28
24/05/2017 17:28
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,095 Berkshire
AnnieMac
Enjoying the ride
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Enjoying the ride
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,095
Berkshire
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Well, to me, being "successful" is just staying out of the psych ward! Yes, I have Bipolar, and I don't see why I should have to hide it any more than a person would hide diabetes or a heart condition. I think being successful means being able to appreciate the beauty in life, and to love and be loved. The acquisition of material possessions, power, and money is a pointless waste of life and I don't believe we are here to do any of that. So by my criteria, if you are shy or have been sheltered, or you have few friends, it is no obstacle to being successful at all.
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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: JKD]
#1601317
24/05/2017 17:35
24/05/2017 17:35
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,095 Berkshire
AnnieMac
Enjoying the ride
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Enjoying the ride
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,095
Berkshire
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My son is 22 and he constantly worries about the future, about money, about how he will cope financially on his own, and I am always trying to get him to understand that today is the only day that matters. If you have enough to eat and a dry and comfortable place to sleep, and shoes that fit, you are probably doing a lot better than millions of people in this world.
Yes, it is nice to have a Coupe to have a bit of fun in, but it is only a "thing", as my Dad said to me the day I wrecked his car!
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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: JKD]
#1601377
25/05/2017 08:42
25/05/2017 08:42
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,159 ,
samsite999
I AM a Coop
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I AM a Coop
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,159
,
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today is the only day that matters. If you have enough to eat and a dry and comfortable place to sleep, and shoes that fit, you are probably doing a lot better than millions of people in this world. This, its hard to realise how lucky we are when were surrounded by the spoils of what 1st world level humanity has to give. Have breakfast this morning and not hungry, congratulations you are better of than 13% of the worlds population. Have a house, income, live in a democracy (kinda) You struck gold my friend. None of this should make you feel any better because it assumes feelings are rational which often they are not. Its simple, look around and look with in, are you the type of person that you want to be, and are those who are around you the type of people you aspire to be like. I'm not talking rich or poor here, im talking good humans, kind honest and if you can get a hat trick, wise. If the answer is no to any of that you need to make changes
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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: Gripped]
#1601478
26/05/2017 12:08
26/05/2017 12:08
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 5,094 highlands
jimboy
Club Member 857
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Club Member 857
Forum is my life
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 5,094
highlands
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The irony is (as it seems to me) is that with all our wealth, property and superfast gadgets, the western world is amongst the unhappiest. The more we have, the less content we are. The definition of a "first world problem."
The lack of community, the isolation brought about by social media i.e. the lack of real contact, all contributes to this. So being successful is being happy. And wealth has little to do with that. Yep I agree with this. Simply put, it's all down to the feel good factor. For instance winning millions on the lottery is of no real good to you if you're the type of person who is chasing something in life that even "you" are unsure of, perhaps simplistic but you get the gist . We all suffer from information overload these days & the more we know, the more we seem to get pissed off with things in general. As like others on here, I've known past friends who had everything, & without going into too much detail they are now divorced, overweight & well, just miserable with life as they see it. I'll stop now.
I'm an old git & happy with it,most of the time
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Re: Can you be successful in life if...
[Re: JKD]
#1601479
26/05/2017 12:23
26/05/2017 12:23
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patch234
Unregistered
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patch234
Unregistered
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Success is a way of thinking, as is life....
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