As I hinted elsewhere, we've bought a huge 17-seat Transit Mk 6 minibus to convert.

As with our BMW, the key has a rechargeable battery in it that is flat and won't retain charge. Does anyone know a reliable vehicle locksmith who can replace either the battery or the key?

Can't you just prise open the remote and look at the battery marking to source a replacement?

And I've not seen the hints elsewhere so I'm trying to guess what you want to convert it into? Mobile tattoo / piercing / massage parlour? Mobile hair salon? Kebab van? Gaming venue? Tardis?

It's not that simple, Dave, the keys are sealed and the battery has to be unsoldered and the new one soldered back in. My soldering skills are... poor.

We're converting the bus into a sort of camper. We've never understood why people try to cram a whole house into a relatively small vehicle, so we're just going to put a partition behind the front seats and another about 7 ft further back. This will give us room for a permanent bed, accessed via the side door. The back space will be used either for storage or as seating, with access through the sliding partition or back doors. There will be a large awning and tea-making capability. What else do you need?
On the roof, we're having a gallery built, from which we can admire views. Especially views of racing cars being driven around tracks.
Well, that's the plan, anyway.
Updates will occur, but probably erratically...

Well, here's the first update:

Anyone want to buy a fantastic platform for a camper?!

We got as far as removing all the seats (a hell of a job) and the roof lining, plus generally tidying up all the bodywork. A full service and new auxiliary battery and a new tyre after a puncture
We had a very skilled friend lined up to carry out the conversion, but he's not fared well throughout the pandemic and is struggling a bit mentally, so we decided not to add to his stress. Plan B was to carry out the conversion ourselves, but we've realised we just won't have the time and we're hoping to move house in a couple of months to a house without room for 2 cars AND a massive minibus. So the Jumbo must go-go.
It's a really brilliant vehicle with 103k miles (it's a 57 plate), a complete and full history (ex local authority, converted to 'normal' MOT) and very little rust.
If anyone fancies a bit more info, please drop me a PM and I'll provide chapter and verse.
She's also on eBay and various Facebook groups.

Gloria Sic In Transit Mundi