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Re: Crap joke thread [Re: MattM] #1667706
25/09/2023 15:53
25/09/2023 15:53
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 605
Cleveland
P
PaulL Offline
Club Member 1872
PaulL  Offline
Club Member 1872
Enjoying the ride
P

Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 605
Cleveland
I don't remember if I've told you this before, Pope Francis really really likes cats.
To such an extent, he's become a catoholic.

Re: Crap joke thread [Re: MattM] #1667707
25/09/2023 15:56
25/09/2023 15:56
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 16,560
Auld Reekie
Edinburgh Online content
Club President, member225
Edinburgh  Online Content
Club President, member225
Forum veteran

Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 16,560
Auld Reekie
Oddly he wears a dog collar.


BumbleBee carer smile
Re: Crap joke thread [Re: MattM] #1667710
25/09/2023 18:34
25/09/2023 18:34
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 605
Cleveland
P
PaulL Offline
Club Member 1872
PaulL  Offline
Club Member 1872
Enjoying the ride
P

Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 605
Cleveland
I've got a picture of him on my mouse mat.

Re: Crap joke thread [Re: MattM] #1668835
23/11/2023 12:37
23/11/2023 12:37
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,438
Aldershot
PeteP Offline
Hon Club Member 005, Membership Secretary
PeteP  Offline
Hon Club Member 005, Membership Secretary
Forum Fossil

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,438
Aldershot
The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries, and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut in half, placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, ‘That poor old couple-all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.’
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.
The old man said, they were just fine-they were used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.
This time the old woman said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked,
"What is it you are waiting for?"

She answered,
"My turn for the Teeth."


16VT and X1/9 1500

We must all do our part for the planet.
I unplugged a row of electric cars that nobody was using.
Re: Crap joke thread [Re: MattM] #1668840
23/11/2023 15:04
23/11/2023 15:04
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 605
Cleveland
P
PaulL Offline
Club Member 1872
PaulL  Offline
Club Member 1872
Enjoying the ride
P

Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 605
Cleveland
Shit

Just burst my stitches open

Re: Crap joke thread [Re: MattM] #1669734
23/01/2024 08:38
23/01/2024 08:38
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 605
Cleveland
P
PaulL Offline
Club Member 1872
PaulL  Offline
Club Member 1872
Enjoying the ride
P

Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 605
Cleveland
Ive taken the batteries out of the carbon monoxide alarm. Well, the loud beeping noise was giving me a headache, making me dizzy and feel sick.

Re: Crap joke thread [Re: MattM] #1670020
05/02/2024 17:00
05/02/2024 17:00
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,438
Aldershot
PeteP Offline
Hon Club Member 005, Membership Secretary
PeteP  Offline
Hon Club Member 005, Membership Secretary
Forum Fossil

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 21,438
Aldershot
An elephant walked up to a man on a nudist beach and asked, 'How do you eat with that?


16VT and X1/9 1500

We must all do our part for the planet.
I unplugged a row of electric cars that nobody was using.
Re: Crap joke thread [Re: MattM] #1670137
12/02/2024 17:14
12/02/2024 17:14
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 605
Cleveland
P
PaulL Offline
Club Member 1872
PaulL  Offline
Club Member 1872
Enjoying the ride
P

Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 605
Cleveland
Do the Durham Wasps have a B team ?

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