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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: Welformed]
#478868
08/11/2007 20:31
08/11/2007 20:31
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jallen
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jallen
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: ]
#478897
08/11/2007 20:41
08/11/2007 20:41
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DanielTheManual
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DanielTheManual
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And she'll have kids lol!
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: ]
#478903
08/11/2007 20:43
08/11/2007 20:43
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Pol
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Pol
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WHAT??? How dumb can one be?
Last edited by Pol; 08/11/2007 20:43. Reason: typo
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: Welformed]
#478909
08/11/2007 20:44
08/11/2007 20:44
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veggy
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veggy
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I once took a map of East Anglia, showing county outlines but not names, out on the streets of Cambridge to find out what percentage of people knew where they lived. Only four out of ten people correctly identified the outline of Cambridgeshire. Culling may be the only answer, but how will you know when they're dead?
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: ]
#478920
08/11/2007 20:47
08/11/2007 20:47
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 32,122 Cumbria
stan
Dr. Frankenstan
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Dr. Frankenstan
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 32,122
Cumbria
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: ali_hire]
#479458
09/11/2007 13:30
09/11/2007 13:30
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pfoe
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pfoe
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Thats shocking^-1
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: ]
#479491
09/11/2007 14:06
09/11/2007 14:06
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Enforcer
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Enforcer
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"I think Camelot are giving people the wrong impression - the card doesn't say to look for a colder or warmer temperature, it says to look for a higher or lower number. Six is a lower number than 8. Imagine how many people have been misled." My impression is that if she has enough noodle to compose a sentence like that she must be just trying it on - hoping to win when she knows she has lost.
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: ]
#479498
09/11/2007 14:10
09/11/2007 14:10
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Enforcer
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Enforcer
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We have a 60-y.o. woman friend who is a qualified nurse, and she doesn't know what type of food a curry is.
When she came back from her holiday last year we asked her where she had been. On being asked where she had been she replied along the lines of "I'm not sure - either the Carribean or the other side of Africa. It was an island with sandy beaches."
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: ali_hire]
#479501
09/11/2007 14:12
09/11/2007 14:12
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veggy
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veggy
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Do you know how long it would take to cull everyone? It's amazing. If some super nasty space alien decided to zap humans at a million a day, every day, it would take about 18 years to get rid of us all, in fact more if you allow for births along the way. I think - or is my maths wrong: 365m a year, 6b people, that's 18, right? I'm not listening to my voices any more, I've got better things to do with the time.
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: ]
#479505
09/11/2007 14:15
09/11/2007 14:15
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Enforcer
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Enforcer
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Yes, Stan, I was afraid of that possibility so I went into denial. Another one: another qualified nurse whom we had invited to our home. Over the phone I carefully went through the directions. "Leave the A55 at junction 23, into Abergele, turn left at the second traffic lights, turn right after ... etc." After I had finished there was a pause, followed by... "Right, do you know where the old police station is?"
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: ]
#479507
09/11/2007 14:17
09/11/2007 14:17
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 32,122 Cumbria
stan
Dr. Frankenstan
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Dr. Frankenstan
Forum Demigod
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 32,122
Cumbria
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: stan]
#479509
09/11/2007 14:34
09/11/2007 14:34
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Enforcer
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Enforcer
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Real conversation with an American woman in Boston. She: Excuse me but .. do you have an accent? Me: No, none. But I think you do. She: Oh really? No, I'm from New York" And another: He: So where are you from, then, ... I mean from London, obviously, but which part? Me: Wales He: Right.. I thought so.
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: stan]
#479536
09/11/2007 15:05
09/11/2007 15:05
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Enforcer
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Enforcer
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Well that's better than a human ...they can only do two!
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: stan]
#479566
09/11/2007 15:48
09/11/2007 15:48
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sumplug
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sumplug
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Doh!!! These kids are leaving college with 10 'O' levels and 'A' levels, yet they cannot speak English [its txt speak], know what a verb or a noun is, and cannot add a few numbers together unless they have a calculator. And they are our future!!!!!! Wonder if she has American parents?? What type of monkey are you Stan? Thought you were an Ape, as you like aping about!! Andy.
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: ]
#479650
09/11/2007 16:36
09/11/2007 16:36
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DanielTheManual
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DanielTheManual
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These kids are leaving college with 10 'O' levels and 'A' levels, yet they cannot speak English [its txt speak], know what a verb or a noun is, and cannot add a few numbers together unless they have a calculator. And they are our future!!!!!! Yes because they are taught HOW to pass exams rather than anything useful. I still don't understand why things such as what a mortgage is, pensions, loans/debt for example aren't taught at school.
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: JimO]
#479657
09/11/2007 16:40
09/11/2007 16:40
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sumplug
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sumplug
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It's *Get Stan Friday* is it? Coooool, can I join in too... You have webbed feet and you smell According to JimO, but not stood near Stan yet to comment!! Andy.
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: stan]
#479672
09/11/2007 16:46
09/11/2007 16:46
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sumplug
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sumplug
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You dont drive Alfas, you admire the interior!! Andy.
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: JimO]
#479683
09/11/2007 16:48
09/11/2007 16:48
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sumplug
Unregistered
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sumplug
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There's someone that gets the idea of an Alfa, its not a car, its a statement and piece of art Might as well sell the wheels, as they get little use!! Andy.
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: ]
#479692
09/11/2007 16:52
09/11/2007 16:52
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 12,546 Northumberland
AndrewR
I AM a Coop
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I AM a Coop
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 12,546
Northumberland
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If some super nasty space alien decided to zap humans at a million a day, every day, it would take about 18 years to get rid of us all, in fact more if you allow for births along the way. I think - or is my maths wrong: 365m a year, 6b people, that's 18, right? 16.4 by my calculator and I'm not sure you'd get that many births with aliens zapping a million people a day ... it's one of those things that just doesn't get women in the mood. Also, if they were smart aliens they'd probably start by killing off the key infrastructure people. Once you've got those who are in charge of providing food and energy to the rest, especially in the West where self-sufficiency is low, then people are going to start dying out naturally at quite a rate anyway. Perhaps I've given this too much thought.
Dear monos, a secret truth.
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: AndrewR]
#479696
09/11/2007 16:53
09/11/2007 16:53
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 12,546 Northumberland
AndrewR
I AM a Coop
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I AM a Coop
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 12,546
Northumberland
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A little while back I had a conversation with my wife, who is a pretty smart cookie (if not keen on maths and science and all that boy stuff).
Her: What would happen if gravity stopped working.
Me: We'd all float off in to space
Her: Only the people in the Southern hemisphere would fall off ... wouldn't they?
Dear monos, a secret truth.
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: AndrewR]
#479702
09/11/2007 16:57
09/11/2007 16:57
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 32,122 Cumbria
stan
Dr. Frankenstan
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Dr. Frankenstan
Forum Demigod
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 32,122
Cumbria
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: stan]
#479740
09/11/2007 17:18
09/11/2007 17:18
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Nobby
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Nobby
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True Story: I did an A level in Design and one day a blonde girl came out with a cracker. <Teacher>Does anyone know how they make snooker balls and how they ensure they are perfectly round. Girl raises hand to answer<Girl>A small centre is premade and then hundreds of small balls are placed in a drum. The drum is turned and heated up, then material is sprayed into the drum and it sticks to the small balls gradually (and evenly). Gradually they get to the desired size. Teacher looked very confused<Teacher>Were have you seen this taking place? <Girl>I not 100% sure, but thats how they make Maltesers....
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: ]
#479744
09/11/2007 17:20
09/11/2007 17:20
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 32,122 Cumbria
stan
Dr. Frankenstan
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Dr. Frankenstan
Forum Demigod
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 32,122
Cumbria
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: ]
#479874
09/11/2007 18:40
09/11/2007 18:40
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 33,553 Berlin
barnacle
Club Member 18 - ex-Minister without Portfolio
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Club Member 18 - ex-Minister without Portfolio
Forum Demigod
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 33,553
Berlin
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If some super nasty space alien decided to zap humans at a million a day, every day, it would take about 18 years to get rid of us all, in fact more if you allow for births along the way. I think - or is my maths wrong: 365m a year, 6b people, that's 18, right?
One small meteor[1], couple of hundred tons arriving with escape velocity, on every major motorway-motorway intersection. Would kill civilisation instantly. No food in the supermarkets after 24-48 hours; no food in most homes in less than a week; riots in three days though I don't predict cannibalism for at least a month or two. [1]You *could* use a pony nuke, but for invading aliens, somehow it lacks style...
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: barnacle]
#479890
09/11/2007 19:01
09/11/2007 19:01
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 12,546 Northumberland
AndrewR
I AM a Coop
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I AM a Coop
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 12,546
Northumberland
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though I don't predict cannibalism for at least a month or two. Oh I don't know - I've always fancied giving it a try. If I was a survivor in a plane wreck I'd be happy to eat those who'd died. Possibly even if we'd crashed in, say, Surrey. Nobody ever wants to sit next to me on flights.
Dear monos, a secret truth.
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: stan]
#481344
11/11/2007 03:10
11/11/2007 03:10
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Mr.S
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Mr.S
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Hope Angelina Jolie is on my plane when it crashes!
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: ]
#481576
11/11/2007 15:30
11/11/2007 15:30
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 12,546 Northumberland
AndrewR
I AM a Coop
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I AM a Coop
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 12,546
Northumberland
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Hope Angelina Jolie is on my plane when it crashes! I know a joke about that ... A plane crashes in the Pacific and the only 2 survivors are Angelina Jolie and Fred Bloggs, from Sunderland. The 2 of them are washed ashore on a uninhabited island and have to search for food, build a shelter, hunt wild animals and so forth. As time passes they naturally get closer and closer and they become lovers. For a while all is well, but after a time Fred starts looking a bit depressed. Angelina asks him what's the matter - after all they've got an idylic life; tropical sunshine, good natural food, peace and making love on the beach beneath the moon. Fred admits that for all his life is wonderful he misses sitting having a pint with his old mate Joe in the Pig & Whistle. "Never mind" says Angelina "I've got an idea - we'll build a bar then you tell me everything about Joe and I'll dress up in some of the mens clothes that we found after the crash and use my acting skills to become Joe". Fred brightens at this idea and so, a week later, Angelina is sitting at a bar fashioned from drift wood wearing mens clothing when Fred strolls up. "Alright, Fred?" asks Angelina in a gruff Northern voice, "How you doing?" Fred sits down next to her, leans towards her and say, "Joe - you'll never guess who I'm shagging!"
Dear monos, a secret truth.
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: AndrewR]
#481584
11/11/2007 15:51
11/11/2007 15:51
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 32,122 Cumbria
stan
Dr. Frankenstan
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Dr. Frankenstan
Forum Demigod
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 32,122
Cumbria
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Re: The human race is doomed...
[Re: stan]
#481714
11/11/2007 17:44
11/11/2007 17:44
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pfoe
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pfoe
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