Taste: Wrong, all very wrong! (Sorry once more for the prevalence of exclamation marks in this review). Tastes like some rancid recurring Freudian nightmare, in which a haggard old witch straight from the most terrifying European folklore tales pours warm starling's guano into the ear of a week dead vole before adding emulsion paint (matt finish), runny porridge, putrid yoghurt, gnat's vomit and concentrated essence of stale cabbage. If this jar is left unlidded the smell can swiftly permeate several acres of woodland
Colour: Like an albino badger caught full in the light of a slightly overcast wintery full moon whilst indulging in some disreputable activity of which it is particularly embarrassed
Comments: The consistency of rancid yoghurt churned long and forcefully with wild blossom honey by a particularly misshapen Guatemalan dwarf, the full aroma of a Brazilian hockey player's jock strap combined artfully with all the character wit and charm of a Polish provincial town planner. OMay-no!
Overall: 1 out of 10 - Narrowly avoiding the dreaded 0 out of 10 purely because it has a jar and a lid which can always been cleaned out and filled with something tastier. Had this been served in a bucket or a smeared on the head of small dog, nought would have been duly recorded for the first time in condiment history